DRАG RАСЕ S16Е11 (2024)
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00We are back in the work room and nobody is eliminated and I have another win I feel fabulous.
00:18Can we just take a minute to congratulate Miss Sathira on her second win?
00:22Congratulations Morphine on getting to Lip Sync.
00:26I hate that you won!
00:28Why you got a problem?
00:29I got a fucking problem.
00:30I got a problem.
00:31I got a problem.
00:32What?
00:33Don't you tell me about this.
00:34I got a problem.
00:35Finally being in the top only to lose in a Lip Sync.
00:38I am angry.
00:39I definitely feel like I should have won period point blank dot com Dupree.
00:43So I don't want her to feel good about her win.
00:45Okay.
00:46Is that so wrong?
00:47Is it wrong for me to like make her not happy?
00:49God.
00:50Speaking of sisterhood, you gave your immunity to Nikita.
00:55I did, yes.
00:57In a moment of sisterly love.
00:59I decided to give this immunity potion to Nymphia because she is actually a girl that
01:02I really enjoy.
01:03And also I was thinking if I knock a bottom bitch off that runway, perhaps that'll leave
01:08Q and Dawn in the bottom.
01:10Do you wish you had used it on yourself?
01:12No.
01:13You know what?
01:14At the end of the day, I didn't end up needing it.
01:16I don't know.
01:17Tonight I would qualify as a bottom for you.
01:20I don't recall myself being, you know, announced the bottom three, proclaimed the bottom three
01:25in front of the world.
01:26You live on another planet, bitch.
01:28Plain was in the bottom.
01:30That is absolutely, roll the footage back.
01:32Plain Jane, this week you were slightly overpowered by Nymphia.
01:38Plain was called last in the judging.
01:40We all know what that means.
01:41That bitch was not even bottom two, she was bottom one.
01:44Plain, listen baby, we all have bad nights.
01:46This wasn't a bad night for me.
01:48It seems like it is.
01:49You're very upset.
01:50The notion that I was in the bottom.
01:52Do you see this?
01:53Do you fucking see this?
01:54Yeah, I see it.
01:55This is a boring, sparkly dress.
01:56Woo!
01:57Get her, get her.
01:58Okay, so you want to, okay.
01:59Get her, get her.
02:00Get her, go on.
02:01Can I be honest?
02:02I'm having a lot of fun getting a little rise out of Ms. Plainie at the moment.
02:06So you want to do this right now?
02:07Yeah, I'll do it baby, I'll do it.
02:08Let's fucking do this.
02:09Come on.
02:10This is a boring fucking dress.
02:11You're wearing rags from a fucking kid's bedroom, bitch.
02:13No, baby, but my-
02:14Yes, you are.
02:15No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
02:16Okay, no, no.
02:17You look a fool.
02:18You look a fool.
02:19No.
02:20Doodoo clown mess.
02:22You know, this is gorgeous.
02:23This is all concept and no gorgeousness.
02:26You're a creature from the Black Lagoon that needs to go back into the depths.
02:30Plain Jane is ... That porcelain skin is cracking.
02:35She is pissed.
02:36Maya, save me.
02:37This bitch is crazy, Maya.
02:38This bitch is crazy, Maya.
02:39I'm just saying, it's gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous gowns, gorgeous, gorgeous gowns.
02:46These queens want so badly to see me flop, but it's just not happening.
02:51Sorry, girls.
02:52You know, my track record is still squeaky clean, and you can all suck it.
02:59I have never seen anybody get plain like that.
03:01The way you were shook.
03:03You thought I was going to let a bitch fucking read me?
03:04A bitch looking like that?
03:07Tensions are high.
03:08All of us are like this right now.
03:10We're like so close to the top floor.
03:13Any little thing will struck a nerve, and I am here for it, honey.
03:20Justice for Morphe love, you know?
03:22It's just ...
03:23Girl, what you doing?
03:31It is a new day in the workroom, and there are still seven of us.
03:35Are we still annoyed that we're still seven of us?
03:37Because I am.
03:38Damn bitch, let a bitch sit down first.
03:39Hold on.
03:40She's struggling.
03:41Come off it, Ma.
03:42Do you need help?
03:43Having seven was cute last week, unity, equality, kumbaya, but I'm trying to win $200,000 and
03:52a crown, so these bitches gots to go.
03:54It was nice knowing you, Nymphia.
03:57You said it was nice knowing you, Nymphia.
03:58What are you talking about, Miss Maya?
03:59Relax.
04:00Are you sure?
04:01You haven't seen my full capability yet.
04:02I mean, all I've seen is bananas.
04:07It's a quiet fight, you guys.
04:08It's a quiet fight.
04:09We might need subtitles.
04:10We might need subtitles for the whispers of the season.
04:11Hello, hello, hello.
04:12What?
04:13Come on with the surprise.
04:14Lady kids, drag is a sisterhood, so at this point in the competition, I want to see how
04:27well you know each other and yourselves.
04:30So for today's mini challenge, we're going to play a little game we call Spill the Tea.
04:39Served by Cash App.
04:41Ooh, spill the tea.
04:43This should be good.
04:45Okay, now here's how Spill the Tea works.
04:47I ask a question like, who's the prettiest queen?
04:51Then you all vote for yourself or one of your fellow queens.
04:55Now, each time your answer matches the majority, you get $100.
05:01In the end, the queen with the most money wins.
05:03Queen, you ready?
05:05Yes.
05:06Yes, Mama.
05:08Spill the tea.
05:09First question, which queen is the most passive-aggressive?
05:15Okay, paddles up.
05:19Nymphia is the most passive-aggressive.
05:22What?
05:23I know I'm a passive-aggressive person, but I didn't know everyone knew that, so I should
05:28have voted myself.
05:29God damn it.
05:31Plain Q and Sephira each get $100.
05:34Ooh.
05:35What?
05:36Question number two.
05:37Which queen is most likely not to know what passive-aggressive means?
05:46Morphine is the least likely to know.
05:49In fact, Morphine voted for herself.
05:52Which queen are you most likely to block online?
05:57Paddles up.
06:01Everyone voted for Plain Jane, except for Plain Jane.
06:07Which queen is the flirtiest?
06:10Oh my goodness, it's unanimous.
06:13Which queen is the gassiest of the bunch?
06:17Paddles up.
06:19Dawn is the gassiest queen.
06:22Man.
06:24Let's check on the scoreboard.
06:26Ka-ching, ka-ching.
06:28Next question.
06:29Which queen is the most likely to blame the edit?
06:33Oh shit.
06:35Paddles up.
06:37Ooh.
06:38Morphine is the queen most likely to blame the edit.
06:42Which queen is most likely to spend her $200,000 grand prize wisely?
06:49Ooh, Sephira.
06:51Next question.
06:52Which queen is most likely to blow her $200,000 on latex breastplates?
07:00Okay.
07:01Paddles up.
07:03Plain Jane.
07:06That means the majority get $100,000 each.
07:11Oh wait, what?
07:16Not $100,000, bitch.
07:17$100.
07:19Next question.
07:20If you're performing for your drag sisters,
07:22which queen do you trust to give you the biggest tip?
07:26Just a tip, ladies.
07:29Oh my goodness, it's unanimous again.
07:32Sephira.
07:34All right, final question.
07:35Which queen is the most delusional?
07:38This is going to be very difficult for you.
07:41You have to think long and hard.
07:44Oh my god.
07:49Plain Jane.
07:53Me?
07:54Certainly not me, honey.
07:55Dawn is the most delusional for thinking that my outfit wasn't good.
08:00Bitches.
08:02Okay, queens.
08:03With $900, the winner of today's mini challenge is Sephira.
08:11Congratulations.
08:12You've won an additional $2,500 cash tip served by Cash App,
08:18which takes your total winnings to $3,400.
08:22Oh, I win that money too?
08:24Yes.
08:25That's money, honey.
08:28$3,400 for spilling the tea?
08:30That's not a bad gig, honey.
08:31Call me Sheemzy.
08:33And yes, the rest of you get to keep your cash too.
08:40Ladykins, the Human Resources Department has asked me to make a very important announcement.
08:46This week is Drag Awareness Month.
08:49So for this week's maxi challenge,
08:51I want you to come up with your own silly and sickening drag awareness employee seminars.
08:59Bullshit.
09:01I do have experience in hosting, but an informative speech?
09:09Now you'll be working as teams.
09:11Q, Plain Jane, your topic is,
09:14Do you know your drag herstory?
09:17Maya and Dawn, your topic is,
09:20Drag in the workplace.
09:22And I do mean work.
09:25Sephira, Nymphia, Morphine.
09:28Your topic is,
09:29Are you a drag queen?
09:31You might be surprised.
09:33Ladykins, this is your chance to be ambassadors of confusion,
09:37unemployment, nerve, and telekinesis.
09:41Racist.
09:42Start your engines.
09:44And may the best drag queen win.
09:51Okey dokey.
09:52Hello, Miss Maya.
09:54How are ya?
09:55Ready to get this going.
09:56Yeah, I'm excited.
09:58This is a test of not just hosting skill and comedic skill,
10:02but also how well can you present a slideshow presentation.
10:05I literally think this challenge is perfect for me.
10:07I have a degree in engineering.
10:10I'm very used to making presentations,
10:12and I'm a very silly person.
10:14And so I think that those skills will tie in nicely here.
10:19This will be my first time doing a presentation like this.
10:22I'm nervous, but thankfully Dawn is a smart girl,
10:26so hopefully we can get through this together
10:28and come out on top.
10:30Drag in the workplace.
10:32Do you have any thoughts about that so far?
10:36Tell a joke, read.
10:38Uh-huh.
10:40Have fun.
10:43I love Maya, however, I am a bit concerned
10:46because I know that she can be a little quiet,
10:48and this is like a hosting banter challenge.
10:51What is a drag queen, how to spot one,
10:53how to speak to one, how to engage.
10:55Do you have any thoughts about the direction
10:57that we're going right now?
11:00Um...
11:02Yeah, this is gonna be interesting for me.
11:05Of everybody left in the competition,
11:07the only people without a win are me and Morphine.
11:10I want to be in the top 4, and I think that to get there,
11:13you need to have a win.
11:15This is it, this is game time.
11:17Oh, we could have like a drag queen
11:19in the workplace emergency kit that includes bear spray.
11:22Do you know what I mean?
11:24Um...what, say it again?
11:27I think Dawn and Maya's seminar is gonna be like this.
11:29Dawn's gonna be like, oh my God, can I be honest?
11:32Maya, how do you feel?
11:34Maya's gonna be like, well, I'm all right,
11:36you know, I'm here, I'm good.
11:42I feel like we're in high school and we're preparing
11:44for like an English presentation.
11:46For this challenge, we have to write and present
11:48a presentation about drag.
11:50Do you know anything about seminars?
11:52I don't think I've ever been to a seminar.
11:55I'm not really sure what that is.
11:58What is it?
12:00People talk on a podium.
12:02Like Steve Jobs?
12:04Yeah, girl, what's a seminar?
12:06So what we're gonna do is deliver, project.
12:09We're gonna be funny.
12:11I feel very stressed out.
12:14I can do this, I can do this, I can do this,
12:17I can do this, I can do this.
12:20I'm a host, so this is something I am pretty good at.
12:24However, I got Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Banana
12:27who are working with me,
12:29two people who are very clearly anxious.
12:35You know, fun fact, I actually, when I started drag,
12:38I made like a presentation to show my mom
12:41justifying why I was doing drag.
12:43I prepared like a little presentation,
12:45and I came to her room and I presented it to her,
12:47and I was like, so this is a little bit of drag history.
12:50Oh my God, that is crazy.
12:52This is what drag is today, and this is me,
12:55and this is why I wanted to drag me in.
12:58It wasn't very funny. She wasn't laughing.
13:00She was crying.
13:02I feel actually good about my teammate.
13:04We've had our little tiffs in the past,
13:06but I'm glad I have someone with me that's, you know,
13:09so driven and ready to just give 100%.
13:13Maybe we do something like Aristotle,
13:15who first, you know, developed the philosophy
13:17of the inner saboteur or something like that.
13:20That was a good one.
13:22I kind of think Plain and Q are going to nail it.
13:25I'm so pleased with myself.
13:27Plain has the jokes,
13:29and Q has the ability to learn the jokes.
13:33laughs
13:35That was so hateful.
13:37Oh, girl.
13:39So what makes a drag queen?
13:43Hello, hello, hello!
13:45Oh!
13:47Hi!
13:49Please give a warm Drag Race welcome
13:52to the multi-talented Jo Kim Booster!
13:56Oh, my God!
13:58Happy Drag Awareness Month, queens.
14:00We are here to help.
14:02Jo Kim Booster is like a very successful comedian
14:06and actor and writer.
14:08I'm excited to get critiqued by him.
14:10Oh, my gosh. He is so hot.
14:12I know he's a comedian, but I mean,
14:14he should sign up to OnlyFans or something
14:17because he's gorgeous.
14:19Plain, Jane, and Q, come on over.
14:21Hello.
14:23Hi.
14:25I want to know what you have in store.
14:28We're going to teach drag herstory
14:30to the breeders of the world.
14:32That's right.
14:34So you two, how do you work together as a team?
14:37I can sense the energy differences right off the bat.
14:40We do hate each other, but we've gotten past that.
14:43I feel like we do kind of work well together.
14:45What do you miss about Q?
14:47Right now we have a bunch of content,
14:49but now we have to really finesse it.
14:51But you're a theater kid.
14:53This is where you excel.
14:55You know how to massage a scene, right?
14:57I've massaged a few scenes in my life.
14:59Plain Jane, are you nervous about anything?
15:01I'm approaching this cool, calm, and collected,
15:03and I always just assume that I'm going to be in the top.
15:06I wish that she was not being truthful,
15:08but she really always thinks she's going to be in the top.
15:11Really?
15:14And your delusion?
15:16Yes, I feel like delusion is an integral part of drag.
15:19I agree.
15:21I try to approach everything with a deluded sense of confidence
15:24to hopefully actually get there.
15:26They really need to add that to the acronym.
15:28Charisma, uniqueness, nerve, talent, and delusion.
15:30That's very important.
15:32If you have confidence and you're able to back it up, it's worth it.
15:35Do you have any sort of ways to really nail a punchline?
15:38I think for you guys right now, because you have these slides,
15:41there's a way in which it's punctuating the jokes.
15:43The last thing I think anybody's going to want to see you do
15:46is be like, ah, and then next.
15:48Like a TED Talk.
15:50Don't turn it into a TED Talk. Use it to your benefit.
15:53Okay.
15:55Knock them dead.
15:57You're welcome.
15:59Maya and Dawn, you're up next.
16:01How are we?
16:03You are drag in the workplace?
16:05Yes, I went to school for computer science.
16:07I had an office job before I even came here.
16:09If I showed up to work one day and there was a drag queen sitting next to me,
16:12what would I need to know to stay safe in that scenario?
16:15Safe.
16:17That is funny.
16:19I'm kind of bringing the corporate aspect.
16:22Maya's been doing drag for 82 years, so she's being the drag, right?
16:27Be careful, though, because it sounds a little bit like
16:30you're getting into straight man territory comedically.
16:34Obviously not the other way.
16:36But the thing that could get you in trouble is if you give all the comedy to her,
16:41then what are we getting from you comedically in this challenge?
16:44Absolutely.
16:46Do you get on the mic, Maya?
16:48Yes, I do.
16:50Huh?
16:52I don't think she's ever hosted in her life.
16:54I've never heard her talk on the mic.
16:56When you're on the mic, what do you do?
16:58I'm interacting with the crowd.
17:00Do you ever tell jokes?
17:02I try.
17:04I'll be speaking to the crowd, and then I'll see the people on the sidewalk,
17:07and I'll say, hey, it's free to come in, you can't catch the gag.
17:12Okay, what about you, D'Juan?
17:14Me and my friend on the mic, we're very kind of nonsensical.
17:17We're almost there to annoy the audience.
17:19Yeah, exactly.
17:21You need to be funny, and you need to get to the points,
17:23and if you're setting them up, set them up well and deliver it.
17:27All right, well, good luck.
17:31Safira, Morphine, and Nymphia.
17:34Hello.
17:36Who's the funniest?
17:38Probably me.
17:40And the most modest.
17:42I'm more like naturally kiki, funny, like with the girls.
17:45You have some good jokes.
17:47One of the things I was going to say for the intro was,
17:49did you know after every drag brunch, seven drag queens are born?
17:53Ooh.
17:55You're not laughing, so I'm going to have to change that.
17:57Yeah, what I'm sensing is that you have a really good premise,
18:00but then what is the funny thought beyond that?
18:02Like seven drag queens are born, and then what happens to them?
18:05This challenge really triggers me
18:07because it makes me feel like I'm in high school.
18:09I graduated with a 2.3 GPA for a reason.
18:11Thoughts and prayers, I'm trying to get out of this mindset.
18:14It's not good, not good.
18:16I have a question.
18:18Many threesomes I have been in...
18:20Where are you going with this, Juan?
18:22Definitely have wanted to be two instead.
18:24Threesomes are really difficult. There's a lot of needs to service.
18:26How are you guys handling making sure
18:29that she is not the star of your threesome?
18:31Beyoncé right there.
18:33May consider each of us Beyoncé as well.
18:35Well, I mean, you should.
18:37The chorus does have to come together, though, for it to make sense.
18:39Yeah, of course, of course, of course.
18:41Sofía tends to be kind of dominating.
18:44Good luck. Thank you.
18:46And we'll see you out there.
18:48So I need to find a way to not be the sign-line girl
18:50and stand out from the group.
18:52Get around, queens.
18:54Get around.
18:56Tomorrow, you will be making your drag awareness presentations
18:59on the main stage
19:01in front of a live audience
19:03of bored employees
19:05who are only there for the free snacks.
19:08Oh, yeah.
19:10Live audiences are hard, Mary.
19:12I pray that this crowd is not full of Karens and corporate devils,
19:16because if that happens, I will pack out.
19:18And on the runway,
19:20category is...
19:22Flashback.
19:24DragCon 1980!
19:28And one more thing.
19:30Good luck, and don't fuck it up!
19:34You got it.
19:36Bye!
19:42Today we're doing our drag seminars
19:44in front of a live audience and the judges.
19:46Q and I feel fairly confident.
19:48We have all the jokes.
19:50We have our slides.
19:52A lot of our jokes are actually really smart and funny,
19:54and I think everybody will kind of get them.
19:56Yeah, it's gonna be bloody hilarious.
20:01How you feeling about this challenge?
20:03You know, I'm in my positive area
20:05where I'm super self-confident,
20:07so I am ready and excited for this challenge.
20:10But deep down,
20:12this was so fucking tough.
20:15This morning, it definitely felt a bit better.
20:18I feel good and comfortable with what I came up with,
20:21and hopefully I'll just, like...
20:23Knock it out the ballpark.
20:25I am ready to surprise myself this challenge.
20:28With this live audience,
20:30I'm going to give them
20:32the best memorable night they'll ever experience.
20:35If I mess up, keep going, be funny, do something stupid.
20:40We got this.
20:42I'm ready.
20:44I'm not ready, but I'm ready.
20:46Hearing you and Maya, I really was like, wow.
20:48No, honestly, when I found out that it was me and Maya,
20:51I was like, damn, they got the two most opposite bitches
20:54in this room on the same team.
20:56This pairing has definitely been a challenge for me.
20:59Going into the challenge today, I am prepared.
21:02I know my lines, I know my bits,
21:04but I can also tell Maya is really anxious.
21:07So I am...
21:09stressed.
21:11I think we're gonna give good cop, bad cop,
21:13and not good or bad, just opposite.
21:15You know what I mean?
21:17Sounds like you're not giving anything.
21:19I think it's kind of up in the air
21:22as to how this is going to go.
21:24I know the song, I'm not going home tonight.
21:27The idea of lip-syncing against Maya is horrifying.
21:29However, lip-syncing against someone
21:31who's been in the bottom 3 times already, much less horrifying.
21:34If, if, you know, God forbid that were to happen.
21:40Are you excited about the runway today?
21:42I am very excited about the runway today.
21:45I'm just, like, in awe at...
21:47Okay.
21:49...how astounding and gorgeous I look.
21:51Okay, forget I asked.
21:53I am doing something very sentimental for the runway today.
21:57Are you?
21:59Yes, it's, like, inspired by the generation of, like,
22:02gay people that we lost, like, to the AIDS epidemic in the 80s.
22:05So it's, like, really, really special to me,
22:08and, um...
22:11I have also been HIV-positive for, like, two years now.
22:18Sir.
22:20When I, like, first got my diagnosis, I, like, felt, like...
22:24I felt, like, really lost, and, like, I was, like, super alone.
22:28I tested positive when I was 24.
22:31I was mostly, like, scared about, you know,
22:34how I was going to be treated by family
22:36and people around me who don't understand it
22:38because, you know, it is so stigmatised.
22:40You know, people have, like, said, like,
22:42really, like, awful, nasty things to me
22:44and, like, almost, like, dehumanised me.
22:47But, like, I'm here, I'm on Drag Race,
22:50like, I know I'm living my dreams,
22:52and, like, you know, I have a loving husband
22:54that, like, really...
22:56that really supports and loves me no matter what, and, um...
22:59Mama, kudos for saying that, for spilling, like, seriously.
23:03I want to be there for her
23:05because I've come to really love and value and respect Q,
23:09and I really do feel for Q in this moment.
23:12It's crazy, like, how much, like, people with, like, HIV,
23:15like, have to deal with.
23:16I've been treated differently by, like, healthcare providers.
23:19I think it's so important to have this, like,
23:21queer people in, like, healthcare.
23:23You really feel that difference in care, like,
23:25between, like, those providers.
23:27Do you hear that?
23:28Gay people stop doing drag and start going to medical school.
23:31No, that's just you stop doing drag.
23:34You whiz, bitch.
23:37What did I tell you?
23:38I'm sleeping in until 5 p.m. tomorrow.
23:40Mm-hmm.
23:41You mean on the plane, on the way back?
23:43Morphine at work, not today.
23:45Not today, Mama.
23:46Sorry, you set yourself up for that one, Mama.
23:48Not today.
23:51Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race,
23:54Michelle Visage.
23:55Now, how are you celebrating Drag Awareness Month?
23:58Well, Ru, I already gave it the office.
24:00What did you give?
24:02Anything you want.
24:05The hilarious Ross Matthews.
24:07Now, how are you celebrating?
24:09Well, for the very first time ever, to show solidarity,
24:11I tucked.
24:13Do I look taller?
24:14I don't know, but your voice is deeper.
24:16Thanks, man.
24:19And our extra special guest judge, Joel Kim Booster.
24:23Are you ready for your drag orientation, my dear?
24:26Ooh, that sounds like fun.
24:27Is there an anal option?
24:29Oh, absolutely.
24:32This week, we challenge our queens to make silly
24:34and sickening drag awareness presentations.
24:38Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen win.
24:42Yes, I do have another arm.
24:45The whole time.
24:48In recognition of Drag Awareness Month,
24:51please welcome Plain Jane and Q.
24:57Hello, hello, hello, everybody.
25:00Thank you for having us here at Heterodynamics Corp.
25:03I am Dr. Q.
25:06And I'm Dr. Plain Jane, M.D.
25:09We were actually invited here by Heterodynamics CEO,
25:14Ross Matthews, to educate you all on drag herstory.
25:19We'd like you to take a look at the following slides.
25:25Yes, yes.
25:26And now, some her-storic clips.
25:31Let it all sink in.
25:34Brilliant.
25:36Brilliant.
25:37Now that that's over with, welcome to
25:39Our Herstory Drags On,
25:41Heels, Wigs, and the Tenacity of the Human Spirit.
25:45We're going to get started with famous people
25:47you may not have known were drag queens throughout herstory.
25:49Our 16th president, Honest Abe, was actually a drag queen.
25:54Wow.
25:55But some of you may know him better as Fabraham Stinkin.
26:00Four whores and seven queers ago.
26:03Beautifully said, Dr. Q. Couldn't have done better myself.
26:06Thank you, Dr. Plain.
26:07Of course.
26:08Benjamin Franklin, who was known better by her stage name,
26:11B.J. Bottoms, was also a glorious drag queen.
26:14In fact, when she was struck by lightning,
26:16she became the first queen whose pussy was actually on fire.
26:20Wow.
26:21Oh, my gosh.
26:22Ouch, that had to hurt.
26:23I'm sure it did, Dr. Q.
26:25Oh, my gosh.
26:26The first drag queen astronomer on the moon
26:30was Chenille Armstrong.
26:33And Mama, you couldn't see under her space suit,
26:35but honey, if she had to lip sync for her mother-tucking
26:38light bitch, she was ready to do so.
26:40If she had to lip sync for her mother-fucking light bitch,
26:42she was ready to do so, bitch.
26:44Doctor, Doctor, compose yourself, Doctor.
26:46Doctor, I just, I get so inspired by drag herstory.
26:50So moving on, some of the most famous drag queens
26:53have also been used as inspiration for monuments.
26:56That's right.
26:57Most notably, Mount Rushmore was built in the likeness
27:00of the RuPaul's Drag Race judging panel.
27:02Just as in life, their faces are cold, unmoving,
27:06and birds love to shit on them.
27:09Did you know that drag queens shaped
27:11a lot of universal events?
27:13That's right.
27:14Who's heard of the Big Bang?
27:15Yeah, yeah.
27:16Well, forget all you know about it.
27:19It didn't happen.
27:21What actually created the universe was the Big Tuck.
27:24Doctor Q, correct me if I'm mistaken,
27:26but I believe it was the great Albert Einstein
27:28that once said, all that's tucked must come untucked.
27:32And when the Big Tuck popped,
27:34all matter came flying out of it
27:36and hurtling through space and time.
27:38Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor.
27:41Doctor.
27:45Doctor, Doctor, Doctor.
27:47Girl, that's funny.
27:48Drag queens have cinched in Herstory's waist.
27:51And they've carved out the hip pads
27:52that have shaped the known universe.
27:54On that note, be kind, breeders.
27:57You never know if the queen sitting next to you
28:00is the one that will shape the Herstory of the future.
28:03Thank you so much.
28:04Go tuck yourselves!
28:09Plain and I crushed this challenge.
28:12I love you, Doctor.
28:13I love you, Doctor.
28:14Oh, Doctor.
28:16We're leaving the stage feeling, like, on top of the world.
28:19Please welcome Dawn and Maya Iman LePage.
28:25Hey, everybody!
28:27Oh, my God!
28:29I'm Dawn.
28:30Are we all partying?
28:32We're drinking, right?
28:34No, is that my other gig?
28:36Oh, fuck, sorry.
28:38Hi, I'm Dawn,
28:39and I've been working in the corporate sphere
28:41for the past 35 years.
28:43But I'm also a sickening drag queen.
28:45And on set today,
28:46we also have a full-time drag queen herself,
28:48Maya Iman LePage!
28:55Oh, my gosh.
28:56Oh, my gosh, I just came from this afterparty.
28:58It was lit.
28:59But hi, everybody.
29:00I'm Maya Iman LePage.
29:02And welcome to You Better Work.
29:05And this is the guide to how to tame a drag queen.
29:10You don't want to fuck with a drag queen.
29:13All right, everybody.
29:14With the mainstream success of RuPaul's Drag Race,
29:17we've had the craziest number of crunchy baby queens
29:21that we've ever had in the world.
29:23We've also seen that some seasoned queens
29:26that are used to the nightclub
29:27are now returning to their corporate roots.
29:33In the past year,
29:34there have been 18 broken limbs
29:36due to drag clothes encounters.
29:38So we're here to keep you safe
29:39as you venture into the dangerous world
29:42of being 10 feet from a drag queen.
29:44On your first day working with a drag queen,
29:47you'll probably have many, many questions,
29:49such as, why am I sitting next to this clown?
29:52But I want you to remember that that clown is a human,
29:56a delusional human with grandeur in her brain,
29:59so you cannot get in her way, or she will come for you.
30:02As you settle into your new life with your new drag partner,
30:07here are some keys to disregard or disalarm
30:12what she has going on.
30:16Huh?
30:17Here are some helpful phrases to avoid that.
30:21It is...
30:25Crash, mama.
30:27Hey, boo!
30:29Damn, ma, you look fierce.
30:32Or, ooh, where you get that from?
30:35Remember that she is not there to do her job,
30:38so you make sure you tell her to do her damn job.
30:42But in extreme cases,
30:43we will be providing each and every single one of you
30:46with a drag queen in the workplace emergency kit.
30:50It comes with a mint and deodorant,
30:53a shot of Hennessy, a taser, and bear spray.
30:58Disclaimer, this kit will not ensure your safety,
31:02but if all hell breaks loose...
31:04Run, bitch!
31:05We really do wish you the best,
31:07and maybe you won't just survive your next encounter
31:10with a drag queen, but you'll actually enjoy it.
31:13And don't forget to tip us and tell us we look gorgeous.
31:17Or else!
31:19Diss your ass!
31:20Yes, ladies and gentlemen!
31:22Thank you!
31:23Whoo!
31:25Dianne and Maya, chemistry zero.
31:28You've been lovely!
31:29You've been lovely!
31:31I gotta go back to the after party.
31:34Mm-mm.
31:35It's a no for me, dog.
31:39Please welcome to the stage
31:41Sephira, Morphine, and Nymphia.
31:44Hey, y'all!
31:46How's it going?
31:47Hello, so many!
31:49Well, they told me y'all would have drinks and snacks,
31:52but let's do a toast anyway.
31:53Everyone raise your hand.
31:54There once was a woman named Alice.
31:56She used dynamite as a phallus.
31:58They found a vagina in North Carolina
32:00and her asshole in Buckingham Palace.
32:02Cheers!
32:03Yes!
32:04Drag is in the air.
32:06It is quite contagious.
32:07We are here to help you identify
32:09the signs and symptoms of being a...
32:12Drag queen!
32:14I am the Reverend Dr. Sephira Cristal.
32:16And I am drag expert in cunning linguistics,
32:19Morphine Love Dion.
32:20And I am professor in bananaology
32:22at Johns Hopkins in St. Nymphia Wind.
32:25And this is...
32:26Are you a drag queen?
32:28You don't look like a drag queen,
32:30but you feel like a drag queen.
32:32Feel.
32:33Like a drag queen.
32:34Did you know 365 drag queens are born every Halloween?
32:39Oh!
32:41What is that?
32:42Guess it.
32:43Guess it.
32:44That is dirty, mama.
32:45How many of you have put on a wig on Halloween?
32:48And I want honest answers.
32:49Raise your hand.
32:51I'm not really feeling the truth
32:53coming from this entire audience,
32:54which gets us to our first behavioral symptom.
32:58Drag queens are pathological liars.
33:01I don't know about that.
33:02I am the premier Jane Goodall impersonator
33:06in a match game.
33:08And I am the first lady of Florida.
33:11And I am Wesley Snipes.
33:15Lying is not only fun, it is compulsory.
33:18And if you don't know what compulsory means,
33:20neither do I.
33:21Speaking of other things I have no idea about,
33:23bing on time!
33:25Drag queens are perpetually late.
33:27This seminar was supposed to start three hours ago.
33:30But it's starting right on time for us.
33:32That's the magic of drag time.
33:36Drag queens have amazing delusional attitudes.
33:41In addition to that, we are way...
33:44We're extreme narcissists.
33:46I notice that Saphira seems to be slipping up.
33:49You should really see your doctor
33:50and then go home and stare in your mirror.
33:53But then she does her little Saphira chuckle
33:55and moves on.
33:56What makes fashion drag?
33:58Have you ever wondered what that makeup stain
34:01is on your man's collar?
34:03Ladies, don't be quick to think it's another woman.
34:07He might be the other woman.
34:10Girl, that's a drag queen.
34:13Does anyone here have long nails?
34:16Oh, I can't do the dishes.
34:18Oh, pick this up for me.
34:20Oh, wipe my ass.
34:23Bitch, you already a drag queen.
34:27You match this with that trousers.
34:30Honey, you are very lucky.
34:32You have natural drag immunity.
34:35You know what?
34:36It's better you don't do drag.
34:37Now I think it's time for drag vocabulary.
34:40Woo!
34:41Thank you, Nymphia.
34:42Drag queens are known to add pizzazz,
34:46sparkle, and spunk to certain words and phrases.
34:50For example, if you say...
34:52That's sick, bro.
34:54Then you might not be a drag queen.
34:57But if you say it like...
34:59That's sick, me mama!
35:01Bitch, if you start saying...
35:03Wait.
35:04Drag queen flopping.
35:07Why would you clue the audience
35:08into the fact that you're flopping?
35:09Now everyone clocked your tea, honey,
35:11and you clocked yourself.
35:12And bitch, if you start every sentence with bitch,
35:14then bitch, you might be a drag queen.
35:16Bitch!
35:17If you relate to anything you've heard tonight,
35:19please stand up.
35:20There we go.
35:21Thank you, thank you, thank you.
35:23Now raise your hand and repeat after us.
35:26Bitch!
35:27Work!
35:28Bitch!
35:29Work!
35:30Thank you so much.
35:31You have now been indoctrinated
35:33into the drag queen system!
35:35Thank you, everyone!
35:36Thank you!
35:37Thank you, have a good night!
35:39Bye-bye!
35:40Woo, that was something.
35:42I felt pretty good.
35:43I dropped the ball for a second,
35:45but I think I picked it back up.
35:47Bitch, I think we did good.
35:52Category is Flashback, DragCon 1980.
35:57Up first, Plain Jane.
36:00Ooh, climax is back!
36:02I'm wowing the judges yet again
36:04with a different silhouette for Plain Jane,
36:06a severe power suit.
36:08It's tailored perfectly to my body.
36:10I don't own 51% of this company.
36:12I built it from the ground up,
36:14and now I own everything.
36:16I said I wanted a bagel, not an agle.
36:22Cute.
36:23I knew it, she's a red herring.
36:26This dress is made with a Keith Haring-inspired print.
36:29He was a really popular activist in the 80s
36:32for AIDS awareness,
36:33and the lapel of this is the AIDS awareness ribbon.
36:36This look is an homage to all the queer people
36:39that were lost during the AIDS epidemic.
36:41I'm giving a message,
36:42but, you know, I'm also giving something beautiful.
36:44Yeah, I love it when a queen acts up.
36:48Dawn.
36:49Okay, hazy fantazy.
36:52This look is 80s rocker punk bitch.
36:56I'm wearing kind of like chappy pants,
36:58but they're like being suspended by a coat.
37:01I made this by myself.
37:03What would a punk rock drag queen wear to DragCon in the 1980s?
37:06This.
37:07Lisa Frank BDSM, fantasy.
37:10Maya Iman LePage.
37:12All right, Pat LaBelle.
37:15I literally Googled DragCon 1980s,
37:17and this look popped up.
37:18I wanted to add more to the look,
37:20so I added the flowers on the shoulders.
37:22So I'm feeling like the queen.
37:24You guys know what they say about big hair, right?
37:26Know what?
37:27No, I'm asking.
37:28Do you guys know what they say about big hair?
37:30Safira.
37:31She as cute as a button.
37:33Baby, I got the biggest hair in the building.
37:36It's giving 1980s prom, dynasty.
37:38It is quintessential 1980s princess.
37:42These girls don't even know what the 80s are.
37:44I at least was born in the 80s.
37:46You know what she's going to be doing later?
37:47Know what?
37:48The Neutron dance.
37:49Oh.
37:50Morphe.
37:51So this outfit is rhinestone for the gods.
37:54However, this hair is borrowed from you
37:57because my wig broke.
37:59So this is not the wig that I'm supposed to wear,
38:01but I love this outfit because I'm giving business in the front
38:04and puta sucia in the back.
38:06Fredericks of Dollywood.
38:08Ooh.
38:09That's going to leave a mark.
38:10This is what Angeline wore to her bat mitzvah.
38:14Up next, the Nymphia Wynn.
38:17Put some grace in your face.
38:20I'm serving hot, mysterious vampire.
38:23This is my take of Grace Jones in the movie Vamp.
38:26So I hand-painted these white lines
38:28inspired by Keith Haring's art.
38:30I'm giving you the big hair and the broad shoulders
38:33and just shapes.
38:34Her pussy's not on fire.
38:35It's electric.
38:36Yes, that's right.
38:37I'm not perfect, but I'm perfect for you.
38:42Welcome, queens.
38:43This week you worked as teams,
38:46but tonight you'll be judged individually.
38:49Up first, Plain Jane.
38:51This look is just everything I hope to be when I'm 50.
38:58I just love it.
38:59And I really loved your presentation.
39:02I was so into it,
39:03I felt like it was the most joke-dense
39:05of all three of the presentations.
39:07You two are so stupid.
39:09There were moments when the rhythm got off track,
39:12and the rhythm's gonna get you, okay?
39:14It is.
39:15But you were able to sort of pull it back in.
39:17My favorite part, I need you to look at some slides.
39:20It doesn't need to be more complicated than that.
39:22So who came up with the slides and the clips?
39:25The slides and the clips was Q's idea,
39:27and all the other jokes, we spitballed those off of each other,
39:31so it was great working with you, sister.
39:33Love you, sister.
39:35Up next, Q.
39:36The slides and the clips, that was my favorite part.
39:39The rhythm of the way in which you even
39:41just went from slide to slide.
39:43Abraham Stinkin!
39:44The timing of it was always so perfect.
39:46You did a very strong showing.
39:48Was it the funniest thing I've ever seen? No.
39:50But I love what you're wearing tonight.
39:52I love the dotted tights with the red pumps,
39:55that's so 80s.
39:56I love the silhouette, I love the colors.
39:59So this is a Keith Haring-inspired print,
40:02and this is the AIDS Awareness Ribbon.
40:04And I have been HIV positive for the past two years.
40:09So to be on this platform and just to be able to be open about that,
40:16that's really important to me.
40:18None of my family knows, but I'm really taking this as a moment
40:23to try to open up to them about it.
40:26Thank you for inspiring us with your dress
40:29and being so beautiful with your truth.
40:33We love you, and we really love your courage.
40:36Thank you so much.
40:38Up next, Dawn.
40:39So Dawn, this look to me isn't quite 80s, but it's very Dawn.
40:43I think this look is 80s.
40:44Michelle, we're talking about the 1980s.
40:46Oh, I thought you meant the 1880s.
40:48Thank you, Rob, thank you.
40:49I was like, where's the horse and buggy?
40:54There's a group called Zig Zig Sputnik.
40:56This is an exact replica of what they wore.
40:59I love this outfit. I love it.
41:01Let's talk about the challenge.
41:02You've got a wonderful personality where it's like,
41:04oh God, I love her right away.
41:06And then there was a lot of heavy lifting for you to do.
41:09My major qualm was that it was very confusing.
41:13We lost the storyline.
41:15The setups that explained the jokes weren't there.
41:19It was a mess, but you held the center
41:21in a really sort of comforting way.
41:23You know, we didn't quite know what we were watching,
41:25but like every time it got back to you,
41:27like I felt a little bit more secure.
41:29We saw you doing the work to try to get it back on course.
41:33It just, it didn't happen.
41:35Up next, Maya Imane LaPage.
41:39Tonight on the runway, this Patti LaBelle hair is life.
41:42The makeup is gorgeous,
41:43but I would have liked to have seen you corseted in this look.
41:47It would have been like, gooped.
41:50Okay, let's talk about the presentation.
41:52It started strong.
41:53When you came out in that wig and that suit,
41:55I thought, okay, I'm going to watch whatever she is doing.
41:57And then it just felt like you were in quicksand.
42:00This week was a stumble.
42:03Coming on this stage was just a complete disaster for me.
42:06It was just so many things just hit in my brain, left and right.
42:09The lucky thing is, is the chances of you ever having
42:11to do a drag seminar with a presentation ever again,
42:15really low.
42:16I would love to watch you do one
42:18as if you were doing it for your mama and your cousins
42:21in the living room.
42:22That's the you that needed to do this presentation.
42:25All right, thank you.
42:27Up next, Safira.
42:29This runway, yeah.
42:32Yeah, it's everything I'd want from DragCon 1980.
42:36It's fucking everything.
42:38The height of the hair, everything.
42:40This look will go down in history
42:42as one of the stupidest looks we've ever had on this stage.
42:47Let's talk about the challenge.
42:48You have the goods.
42:49You started so strong with a toast,
42:52got everybody in the mood.
42:53But tonight was the first time that I saw you fumble.
42:56And I was shocked.
42:58That is so tough, because if you let the audience
43:02start to feel unsafe or distracted,
43:04to get them back in the seat and to trust you again,
43:07it's way more difficult than people understand.
43:09And I think you did a really great job
43:11of getting back to the center.
43:13In terms of the writing,
43:14I think everybody had moments to shine,
43:16but there were a lot of moments
43:18where it was somebody else's turn
43:20and my eyes kept going back to you,
43:22and that is presence, and you have it.
43:26Up next, Morphe.
43:27So I'm not getting so much 80s as I am deflated Dolly Parton,
43:31but I don't hate that.
43:33All right, let's talk about the challenge.
43:35You were with a couple of heavy hitters.
43:38Safira was a juggernaut,
43:39and Nymphia, too, was very, very strong.
43:41You looked like you were just struggling
43:43to keep up with those two.
43:44Wait.
43:46Drag queen flopping.
43:47Your instinct to call attention to your flub
43:50was the right instinct, it was just the wrong execution.
43:53Like, sometimes the way out of that
43:55can be even funnier than the joke.
43:57No, no, no, you misheard me, I said it right,
43:59you heard it wrong, you know, or something along those lines.
44:03Up next, Nymphia Wynn.
44:05I love this red with this purple,
44:07the work that's done with the metal, the painting.
44:10I love the homage paid to Grace Jones' movie Vamp.
44:14In a runway that is about the past,
44:16you're somehow also giving the future of drag.
44:19It is such a relief to come and see Asian excellence
44:23on this runway.
44:24All right, let's talk about the challenge.
44:26You chose to create a character from scratch.
44:29You were funny.
44:30And I was amazed that you were able to pull this character out.
44:34This is a far cry from that snatch game.
44:36You laid heavily into a characterization.
44:38It was actually, you know, I don't know
44:40if I should be laughing without getting in trouble.
44:42I can't do the dishes.
44:44Oh, pick this up for me.
44:46What is your position on that?
44:47Well, I just like any sort of accent,
44:49and I think it's good to, you know,
44:51share the different sounds of the world.
44:53Listen, it was a real risk to do it, but that being said,
44:56because you made a choice that was so different
44:59from everybody else, it stood out.
45:01Thank you, queens. I think we've heard enough.
45:04While you enjoy delicious House of Love cocktails
45:07and mocktails in the untucked lounge,
45:10the judges and I will deliberate.
45:12All right, just between us squirrel friends,
45:14I want to know what you think of our girls.
45:17Let's start with Plain Jane.
45:19I think Plain Jane and Q had a real relationship going.
45:22I think they were two that were very cohesive.
45:24I have a higher standard for Jane
45:26after everything I've seen her do in this competition so far.
45:29She's so great, and tonight she was just good.
45:32All right, let's talk about Q.
45:33Q is the theater queen, so when she gets out on stage,
45:36I kind of know she's got it, and tonight was no exception.
45:39Wasn't the funniest, wasn't the worst,
45:41but I felt super confident every time Q was talking.
45:44Where Q shined the most tonight was that runway.
45:47The message behind it, by letting us in,
45:49getting to know her a little bit,
45:51makes me love her even more.
45:53Dawn.
45:54In the presentation, she kept them afloat, and that was tough.
45:57It is like that thing of in case of an emergency on a plane,
46:00you're supposed to put your own mask on first
46:02before helping somebody else,
46:04and she was trying to help Maya too much.
46:06All right, let's talk about Maya.
46:08I want to start with what went right for Maya
46:10during the presentation.
46:11Now that I'm done with that.
46:14She dropped the cards at the top of the stage,
46:16and I thought, I wonder if that was planned?
46:18I think she really needed that.
46:20If you don't know the character that you're playing,
46:22you're not going to be able to play the character.
46:25She has this gravitas, this energy about her.
46:27I couldn't take my eyes off of her,
46:29even when she was sort of floundering a little bit.
46:32I still felt like a power there,
46:34and it's really exciting to watch.
46:36What a pro, right?
46:37Tonight on the runway, it was everything I'd want
46:39and a bag of chips.
46:41Home run.
46:42All right, Morphe.
46:43Tonight on the runway, it just wasn't giving me 80s.
46:46It didn't stack up to the other looks
46:48that were standing on that stage.
46:49Her in the challenge, it didn't work for me.
46:51Maybe because Nymphia and Saphira were so much stronger,
46:54she got lost a little bit, and she really tried,
46:57but she was so nervous and unsure
46:59that it took us so completely out of it.
47:01Her performance is going to be a little divisive.
47:04Might be the other woman.
47:05She went with the accent.
47:07Given time, she would have pushed it further
47:09and made it more than just that one characterization.
47:12It was interesting.
47:13I think there were some funny things happening with it.
47:16I'll just leave it at that.
47:18Yes, I'm with you.
47:19I don't know that, I wouldn't recommend anyone else do it.
47:22No, no, you don't do it, Ross.
47:24I will not do that.
47:25Neither will I.
47:26I can do it.
47:27You can do it, Joel.
47:29All right, silence.
47:30I've made my decision.
47:32Bring back my girls.
47:34Welcome back, queens.
47:36I've made some decisions.
47:40Saphira, you gave good love on the runway
47:45and in the presentation.
47:48Nymphia, in the challenge, you went bananas.
47:52And on the runway, you put some grace in our face.
47:57Saphira, congratulations,
47:59you are the winner of this week's challenge.
48:05This is my third win, and I'm so excited.
48:08My second in a row.
48:10I am getting up there, Miss Thing.
48:12You've won a cash prize of $5,000.
48:16Oh, my gosh.
48:21I look over, and Q's very sour in the face.
48:25Mama is about to pop up.
48:27Ladies, you may step to the back of the stage.
48:34Plain Jane, Q, you are both safe.
48:38Thank you, Mama.
48:44Happy birthday.
48:45God.
48:47Maya, you were giving Patti LaBelle,
48:50but your presentation needed a new attitude.
48:54Morphine, you were busting out all over,
48:58but your presentation fell flat.
49:01Dawn, you gave us high punk,
49:04but your presentation was no slam dunk.
49:11Dawn, you are safe.
49:16You may join the other girls.
49:18Thank you so, so much.
49:21Maya, Morphine, I'm sorry, my dears,
49:25but you are up for elimination.
49:28Even though this is my fourth time lip syncing,
49:30I'm not going out like a sucker,
49:32and may the best Miami bitch win.
49:35Two queens stand before me.
49:38Ladies, this is your last chance
49:40to impress me and save yourself from elimination.
49:47The time has come
49:49for you to lip sync
49:53for your life.
49:59I don't give a fuck if it's the queen of flips.
50:01Let's get the show on the road, bitch.
50:05Good luck, and don't fuck it up.
50:20Can you find the bubble gum
50:24and fill you up?
50:39What's going on?
50:40Everything goes pitch black?
50:42Oh, she wants to play the sturdy.
50:44Okay.
50:47Get rid of all the lights, sweet honey,
50:49for tonight it's you and me.
50:54Won't you be your woman
50:58if you be my man?
51:02Let yourself go freely now,
51:05but at least if you be so.
51:09Don't think I can...
51:10Did this bitch just throw her tits at me?
51:12It's going to take more than a fake boob to stop me, bitch.
51:15She don't like the cold.
51:17She don't feel me at all.
51:20Get rid of all the lights, sweet honey,
51:22for tonight it's all the way.
51:26Oh my god.
51:31What?
51:35Is she going to drop it?
51:38It starts? It's great.
51:39Too long? Ugh.
51:42What?
51:44It's been so long since I've seen you dance.
51:46Right.
51:49Right.
51:57Right.
52:00Yeah.
52:01And I'll be open,
52:03so don't steal your heart away.
52:07Keep on dancing.
52:10Whoo!
52:12Yeah!
52:15Ladies, I've made my decision.
52:24Morphine, Shantay, you stay.
52:31You may join the other girls.
52:32Thank you so much.
52:38Maya, my queen,
52:40it won't be the same here without you.
52:42Now, sashay away.
52:45Thank you all for this opportunity.
52:47I'm so grateful.
52:48Thank you, judges, and I love you all.
52:55From the palace to the queendom,
52:57the queen of flips is exiting the group chat.
53:01Love you.
53:05I'm gagging in shock that morphine out of everyone beat me,
53:09and I hope I didn't let you guys down.
53:11A lot of the critiques the judges gave me,
53:13I still remember everything I wrote them down,
53:15and I'm just ready to take on the world now.
53:21Condragulations, queens.
53:23And remember, if you can't love yourself,
53:25how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
53:27Can I get an amen up in here?
53:29Amen!
53:30All right, now let the music play.