Malcolm In The Middle Season 2 Episode 19 Tutoring Reese
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00:01Al?
00:08Are you smoking again?
00:10No, I am cleaning.
00:12Do you smell smoke?
00:14No, but I...
00:15Lois, if I wanted to smoke a cigar,
00:17I wouldn't be sneaking around like a scared little schoolboy.
00:21I would do it out in the open, like a man.
00:30That was our third shop vac.
00:33That is our last shop vac.
01:00You're not the boss of me now.
01:02You're not the boss of me now.
01:04You're not the boss of me now.
01:06And you're not so big.
01:11Life is unfair.
01:20Francis, I don't want to hear another argument about it.
01:23You are going to fix the roof.
01:26That is totally unfair.
01:28I come home from school and you immediately put me to work.
01:31Well, someone has to do it.
01:33And you know your father is terrified of heights.
01:35He is not terrified.
01:37The last time he changed the light bulb,
01:39we had to talk him down from the table.
01:41You are going to do this.
01:43Why don't you just put a choke chain around my neck
01:46and make me sleep in the garage?
01:52This is what we call level four rage.
01:54The only way not to get nailed
01:56is to make no set of moves
01:58and avoid eye contact at all costs.
02:08And you!
02:09You think just because you hide the note
02:11the parent-teacher meeting will just go away?
02:13Mom, Mr. Woodward is totally out to get me.
02:16Every teacher since kindergarten has been out to get you!
02:19I know it upsets me too!
02:21There we go!
02:23Here we go now.
02:34Why is the drain still clocked?
02:52Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, honey, there was, uh, you know, I was only seconds
03:02away from the, it's a funny thing, see the, oh, what a mess, look at that, that is a milk
03:08ring on the table.
03:14Reese is still searching for academic truth.
03:20His focus is diffuse, his initiative is waning, and it's preventing his full potentiation.
03:31Uh, what?
03:36To put it simply, Reese isn't self-actualized.
03:40Look, maybe I could just give you a topic, and you could tell us good or bad.
03:46That would help us here.
03:48Reese is flunking almost every subject, and I'm going to recommend that he be moved into
03:55the remedial class.
03:57And that's a euphemism for the remedial class.
04:02No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that is not an
04:10option.
04:11We'll get him to buckle down.
04:12I hope it's that simple.
04:13Reese will get back on track.
04:15We'll see to it if it kills him.
04:17I'm glad to see your level of commitment.
04:19I'm really happy we had this chance to talk.
04:24So we can go now.
04:26I don't want to hear any excuses.
04:29You will sit down every night and work until those grades are up.
04:33Why do I have to tutor him?
04:35Because God gave you a giant brain.
04:38Blame him.
04:39Reese screws up and I get punished for it?
04:41Where's the logic in that?
04:42Malcolm, I have zero tolerance on this one.
04:46Finally, mom found the courage to speak her mind.
04:49Why aren't you fixing that roof?
04:52It's 40 degrees out there.
04:53I'll freeze and it's going to rain.
04:56That's why you have to fix the roof.
04:58Well, maybe if you didn't buy such crappy shingles, it wouldn't leak all the time.
05:02Francis, as long as you are in this house, you will do as I say.
05:06You know what, mom?
05:08No.
05:09I'm too old to be bullied by you.
05:13Our whole lives you have done nothing but dictate what you wanted.
05:18You're the boss of the world and we're all sick of it.
05:22This may be your roof, but we live here too.
05:25We are human beings with rights and I am hereby putting an end to your reign of terror.
05:32You should have seen the look on our face.
05:34It was totally worth it.
05:35Sounds like you've had it rough.
05:38Oh man, you have no idea.
05:43Thanks.
05:44I've got a place near the bus station.
05:48It's warm and fairly dry.
05:52You can stay there for a while.
05:55If you want to.
05:57You can do that for me?
05:58It's a tough world.
06:00We've got to look out for each other.
06:03Thanks.
06:10Richie!
06:11Dude!
06:12I heard your mom kicked you out.
06:14Do you want to stay at my place?
06:16You are a lifesaver.
06:18Could you give me a lift to the-
06:20Sorry man, we're going the other way.
06:22Hi.
06:23Why aren't you flying?
06:24My name is Dewey.
06:25Good to meet you Tony.
06:27Wanna play?
06:28Okay, but I get to be the red team.
06:47Look, I don't want this any better than you do.
06:49Let's just get it over with.
06:51Dude, this book's totally wrecked. What'd you do to it?
06:56I threw it at a duck.
06:58Well, where's your math book?
07:01Which half?
07:02We'll just start with geography then.
07:04I don't take geography.
07:06I guess you do. You got a grade in it.
07:09Oh, that can't be good.
07:13Mi casa es su casa.
07:16This may be my parents' house, but dude,
07:19down here, anything goes.
07:22Oh, what is that smell?
07:24Could be the laundry. Could be the mildew.
07:28Could be that rat I shot.
07:30I think I wounded it.
07:32Probably crawled into a hole in the wall to die or something.
07:37What's this?
07:39It's your bed. You gotta blow it up.
07:42Oh.
07:48Welcome to Shay Ritchie.
07:51Rule number one, there are no rules.
07:57Rule number two, no shoes on the sofa.
08:01It's like it's everyone's even thought.
08:03And Sting Donnie V has him.
08:05And it's just the whole body's life.
08:09It's true now.
08:10It is so real.
08:12Hey, pass the ball over here. I'm open.
08:15Okay, here it goes.
08:16Yeah, Johnny.
08:18Hey, Chuck, it's open. Get in here. Get in here.
08:20Get in here. Get in here.
08:21Come on. What's the answer? You can do this.
08:26We've gone over this a thousand times.
08:45You have to carry the tents. Tents have to go someplace.
08:49Tents don't just float around.
08:52Get smarter already.
08:54Think. Make your brain work.
08:57I could be outside doing anything other than this.
08:59But no, I'm stuck in here babysitting this.
09:024.2.
09:06That's right.
09:08I mean, I actually understand this.
09:12The tents have to go someplace.
09:15Great. Let's move on to the next one.
09:24Just into the house
09:34It's on the right side of the house.
09:37Al, come down from there.
09:44Hey, hey.
09:46What do you think you're doing?
09:48Oh, just fixing shingles.
09:51Francis has responsibilities.
09:53You can't keep covering for him.
09:54It's just not about him.
09:56It's about me.
09:57I just want to get some fresh air.
10:01The view from up here is incredible.
10:04Oh, Jan, you ever think that I might be enjoying myself?
10:12I spent two days on it.
10:18There was even a paragraph that I thought really sucked,
10:21so I went back and rewrote it.
10:23Malcolm, I've never done that before.
10:24But last night, I mean, look at me.
10:27I'm going on and on while you're sitting here trying to read.
10:30How's the grammar?
10:32Never mind.
10:34Rhys?
10:38This is C-minus work.
10:42All right!
10:43Nice job!
10:44You're not just saying that.
10:45No, this is seriously the best work I've ever seen you do.
10:48Yes, that's great!
10:50I couldn't have done it without you.
10:51Thanks, Malcolm.
10:52I kicked your ass!
11:00You got another F?
11:02Mom, I read that paper.
11:03It's not an F.
11:05Then what is this?
11:06We've been studying four hours a night.
11:08Well, guess what?
11:08It's not enough.
11:10You're going to study eight hours a night
11:11if that's what it takes to get your grades up,
11:13and that's what you're going to do.
11:14But, Mom...
11:15I don't see a mother here.
11:16All I see is a warden with two prisoners
11:19who are out of their cell.
11:20Now get back in now!
11:26Not like this!
11:30I'm okay!
11:32I'm okay!
11:33Okay, you know what?
11:42It's freezing, but I don't need heat
11:44because I got justice on my side.
11:47I'm okay if...
11:49Chill cave.
11:50It's going to be so sweet.
11:55Can you do that in the bathroom, Richie?
11:58Dude, no one's going in there
12:00for at least six hours.
12:01You think could you do it
12:03over a wastebasket or something?
12:05And can we cool it on the porno
12:07for like five minutes?
12:08Yeah, when this is over,
12:10I'll just pop in sluts of the Big Ten.
12:12No!
12:13No more porn!
12:15Dude, that's a documentary.
12:21Ow!
12:23God, my eye!
12:24Hey, hey.
12:25Try to find that toenail, Francis.
12:27It is so creepy to step on those things.
12:30Ow!
12:30Come on, Reese.
12:32The test is in two hours.
12:34This is too much, Malcolm.
12:36I'll never pass this thing.
12:37There's 30 true and false questions
12:39and five essays.
12:40It's impossible.
12:42So, Reese, today's the big test?
12:44What do you have to get on this thing
12:45to stay out of remedial class?
12:48A bee?
12:48No, guys, he's serious.
12:53But you're an idiot.
12:58You're right.
13:00Yeah, the only way this idiot's gonna pass a test
13:04is if somebody else takes it for the idiot.
13:06Right, idiot?
13:07Stevie's at the president.
13:10You had a chance for a rebuttal,
13:11but since he didn't answer,
13:12you waved your right.
13:13Therefore, it's an agreed upon term.
13:16What am I gonna do?
13:18I can't get put in a remedial class.
13:21They walk to the cafeteria holding each other's belts.
13:23Unless, maybe Lloyd's right.
13:27Maybe someone should take the test for you.
13:31You mean cheat?
13:33We can't cheat.
13:35Mom will kill us.
13:37And it's wrong.
13:38But more importantly, Mom would kill us.
13:41Hey, we're out of options here, Reese.
13:44You're gonna get caught.
13:45No, we're not.
13:46And you know why?
13:48Because we have four brilliant minds here
13:50to help plan this out.
13:51You had to appeal to my vanity, didn't you?
13:54I'm in.
13:55I'm sorry, but I'm honor-bound
13:58to report this conversation to the vice principal.
14:01Then we're honor-bound to report
14:03you still sleep with an Elmo, Blankie.
14:06Okay, I'm in.
14:21We, uh, here's the VCR you ordered.
14:26I didn't order a VCR.
14:27Yes, you did.
14:29Feel free to call and verify.
14:31I know the extension number.
14:33There's someone there right now.
14:34That won't be easy.
14:35Or you can take a look at this Avia equipment schedule.
14:38Your name and class hour is right here on page 7
14:40in non-student handwriting.
14:42All right, go ahead and leave it.
14:47Okay.
14:48No, no, you said you need an order card,
14:51so you're not going to get one.
14:53We'll just be leaving and pushing this out the door.
14:57Oh, here it is.
14:58Hey, watch out!
15:20Me, the cat in the...
15:23Are you all right?
15:33Way to go, hot broad!
15:53Okay, well, there's the rat.
16:23No, Tony, that's not fair.
16:28Today it's my cartoons before school
16:30and your cartoons after school.
16:35Fine, Tony, be that way.
16:38I don't want to be your friend anyway.
16:40Tony!
16:54I can't stay mad at you either.
16:57Hey.
17:00Did you get that history test back yet?
17:02No, I haven't seen it.
17:04You both better pray for a bee.
17:06Hey, did Francis call you at work yet?
17:12No, no, I haven't talked to him since he...
17:14He thinks he's making some kind of a point
17:16by cutting off all contact.
17:18You know, he should know.
17:20Till he's ready to apologize,
17:22there's really no reason to call.
17:24I can't wait to see the look on his face
17:25when he realizes that we have figured him out.
17:28Ah.
17:29What have we figured out, dear?
17:31Now, I'm in it for the long haul.
17:33He should know.
17:36I'm prepared to go the distance.
17:39You know, I think he likes tomatoes in his sandwich.
17:41Other bag, Hal.
17:42Ah, right.
17:43Like...
17:44A masterful bee, Malcolm.
17:47I could never dumb myself down like this.
17:50I find this F very troubling.
17:55Something...
17:56stinks.
17:58He knows we cheated.
18:00We're gonna have to start cutting separate deals.
18:04He doesn't know anything, Dabney.
18:06I'm gonna go talk to him.
18:09Mr. Woodward, I'm Malcolm.
18:11I'm Reese's brother.
18:12Oh, hi.
18:13How are you?
18:14Oh, Reese is upset.
18:15He thinks he did better than an F on his history test.
18:19I read it over and I sort of thought
18:21it wasn't half bad.
18:24Do you think there's any way
18:25you can maybe take another look?
18:27Malcolm, you should be commended
18:29for your fraternity,
18:30but the test deserved an F.
18:33Mr. Woodward,
18:34maybe you just looked at it again.
18:36I can't spend a disproportionate amount of time on Reese.
18:39It's not fair to the other students.
18:41But he didn't deserve an F on this.
18:43Look, Malcolm,
18:44I've been a teacher for a long time
18:46and I think I know what Reese is capable of.
18:49I really don't think you do because...
18:51Look, you may not want to hear this
18:53about your brother,
18:54but I've known kids like Reese my whole life.
18:58They're the ones who throw water at you
19:01so it looks like you wet your pants.
19:03They aim for your legs and dodgeball
19:05and you fall down
19:06and you break your jaw
19:08and you need to have your mouth wired shut
19:11and your teeth don't set properly
19:13and you spend six years in orthodontia
19:17with the most painfully embarrassing headgear ever designed,
19:22which is only because
19:25they don't feel fully actualized.
19:28That guy's totally out to get you.
19:33Man, I was just using that as an excuse.
19:36He is so good when Mom finds out.
19:38Reese, we can't bust him.
19:40If we route him out,
19:41then Mom will know we'd cheat it.
19:46We're doomed.
19:47Two is after one.
19:51Three is after two.
19:54Four is after three.
19:58Something's after something.
20:02And then we get to ten!
20:09Oh, good Lord!
20:12Thank God you're here.
20:13I was afraid you weren't going to get my message at work.
20:15Hey, how you guys want your burgers?
20:18Just a sec, man.
20:19All right, so I got it all worked out.
20:21You tell Mom that you need me to repair the lawnmower
20:24and then I hang out and I just fix it all.
20:26No, no, no, I'm just not going to do that, Frances.
20:29Hey, you guys better figure it out quick.
20:31This cheap-ass trash can's melting.
20:33Well, maybe you could talk to her then,
20:35just calm her down so that I can come home,
20:38maybe today even?
20:39Frances, you've got to stop putting me in the middle.
20:42What, you're just going to let her win this round too?
20:43Frances, there is nothing that I can do.
20:46You know what the problem is here?
20:47You and your mother are exactly alike.
20:49That's a lie.
20:50That is true.
20:52You're both stubborn and unwilling to bend.
20:54So fine, you win.
20:56Congratulations.
20:57This is your prize.
20:59Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go.
21:02Smells like something died in here.
21:04Your father's right, man.
21:10Sometimes you can be so stupid.
21:15Oh.
21:19I'm sorry.
21:21No one wanted it to turn out this way.
21:24I feel like I let Reese down.
21:27Just keep moving, Tony.
21:28So where does this leave us?
21:32I think it's best if we make the switch as soon as possible.
21:39We need to look at this as an opportunity.
21:42Big opportunity being in the dumb class.
21:46Reese, this isn't what I wanted.
21:48But you haven't left us any choice.
21:50Mom, don't do this.
21:57It's not Reese's fault.
21:59He didn't deserve an F on that test.
22:01Malcolm, we've already had this discussion.
22:04I saw the test.
22:05He did a good job.
22:06He deserved a B.
22:07This guy is totally out to get him.
22:10Malcolm.
22:10Look, I'm sorry you feel that way,
22:12but you can't blame me for Reese's shortcomings.
22:15Mom, this is the test.
22:17Take a look at this question.
22:18What was the cause of the Great Depression?
22:22He put down Black Thursday.
22:23That's a correct answer.
22:24No, that's only a partial answer.
22:27To get full credit,
22:28he should have included the vast overproduction in the U.S.,
22:32protectionism in the foreign markets.
22:35Overexpansion of credit and stock market speculation?
22:38Yes.
22:38That would have been a complete answer.
22:40Ha!
22:41You didn't read the answer,
22:42because that's exactly what I wrote.
22:45I wrote?
22:48The royal eye.
22:51As in Reese.
22:53Because I think we can all identify with what he's going through.
22:56You took that test, didn't you?
23:03You cheated!
23:05You let him cheat for you?
23:09You gave something he wrote an F?
23:14You are out to get him!
23:17Oh, I can't wait to see you expelled or disbarred
23:20or whatever it is they do to creepy little men who abuse their power!
23:23There is no need for name-calling.
23:26I suggest we just leave things as they are.
23:29Oh, I don't think so!
23:32Here's the situation.
23:34If you notify the school,
23:35then the school will find out Malcolm cheated.
23:38He'll be expelled.
23:39Don't you threaten me!
23:42This isn't a threat.
23:44I just don't think you'd throw away the son who achieves
23:47for, well, Reese.
23:50You don't think I'd sacrifice this one?
23:55Let me explain something to you.
23:57I would sell Malcolm down the river in a heartbeat to save Reese.
24:01What?
24:02Malcolm's going to be fine no matter what happens.
24:04Maybe he'll have to go to junior college or start off blue-collar,
24:07but he'll work his way up to management eventually.
24:10Reese is the one who needs saving.
24:12I don't believe you.
24:18No mother could ever be that callous to her own son.
24:26Mom, please let me come home!
24:30I'm cold and I'm hungry!
24:32Please, I'll fix the roof!
24:34I'll paint the house!
24:36I'll do anything, Mom!
24:37Please, just let me live indoors, Mom!
24:41Please, I'll let it be warm again!
24:44Mom, please!
24:48Maybe we can work something out.
24:54There you go, Tony.
24:56Night-night.
25:00Oh my God, look at the size of that thing!
25:04Joey, what in the...
25:05Run, Tony, run!
25:10Why are they always named Tony?
25:14Bye, Tony!
25:16I love you!
25:31Yeah, it's cold, filthy, and dangerous,
25:34but I say we got off easy.
25:36If we all fit in, we should be done in a week.
25:39Hey, hurry up!
25:41I'm trying.
25:42I've got tar in my eyes.
25:43I'm trying.
25:44I've got tar in my eyes.
26:04I've got tar in my eyes.
26:21I'm trying...
26:25I love you!
26:28I love you!
26:30Transcription by ESO. Translation by —