Soap Season 2 Episode 13
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00In the last episode of Soap, Danny and Bert got the ransom money, and after the kidnappers
00:06get it, hopefully Elaine will get home.
00:09Corinne has learned she's five months pregnant, which she doesn't get, because she and Tim
00:13only got married last month, and no one got near her before that.
00:17Detective Donahue told Jessica that although he loves her, he'll get Chester back for her.
00:21But then, he'll get her away from Chester.
00:24Jody thought he was getting married, and got jilted instead.
00:27Don't get it?
00:28Well, after tonight's episode of Soap.
00:34This is the story of two sisters, Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell.
00:41These are the Tates, and these are the Campbells.
00:47And this is Soap.
00:50Danny, $50,000 in a paper bag?
01:19This is crazy.
01:20We'd better rehearse the drop.
01:21You go sit down, pretend you're us, I'll pretend I'm them.
01:24I don't have to pretend I'm us, I am us.
01:27Well, I'm some of us.
01:29I'm part of us.
01:30I'm half of us.
01:31Go sit down.
01:33We need another bag.
01:34I brought a rehearsal bag.
01:35Don't forget.
01:36Pick a switch.
01:37Perfect.
02:05Except one thing.
02:06What?
02:07back no you are a real idiot no one likes you Dave likes me oh yeah then why
02:21do you think he's making the switch and you were driving the minute he gets the
02:24money's gonna be out the back door of the museum and off the acapulco without
02:26you yeah nuts here's your lunch what is it pastrami I hate pastrami I hate you
02:35I have your pickle buy your own pickle ready a couple more pages well we got
02:41about a half hour to get into the city and switch the bags let's go I want to
02:44make the switch no get real you drive I switch that's how we planned it I want
02:49to pick up the money forget it I don't pick up the money I don't go okay that's
02:53it
02:55stop stop not that way let's go get the money and get out of here now forget the
03:11pickle
03:16one answer so depressing would you like some more coffee no thanks I wonder if I
03:21could be a securities analyst would you like some toast no thanks I wonder what
03:25securities analyst is Tim how would you like a baby no thanks Tim you didn't
03:31hear a word I said I'm sorry honey I was looking for job what is it I said how
03:36would you like a baby baby yeah I really would but later not now okay well I
03:45didn't mean right this minute takes a little while honey we'll have a baby
03:51we'll have lots of babies but later when when I have a job and we have our own
03:54place that would be the time to have a baby now wouldn't be now is what we're
04:07gonna have a baby are we're pregnant I am
04:16so now I don't stand up how do you feel you should be drinking coffee
04:21I'm so excited a baby that's why you've been eating like an animal it's a sign
04:29honey a baby our own baby oh boy I can't wait you won't really have to a baby
04:37we're gonna have a baby there's just a little something else what I'm uh five
04:48months pregnant five months well that would mean it
04:57great Tim I didn't I swear it there was no one absolutely no one
05:03Karina what you're suggesting only happened once before do you mean to tell
05:10me that what I mean to tell you is that I've never been unfaithful to you after
05:14Peter died there was no one until we were married I swear it Tim you don't
05:22believe me how can I cause it's the truth if it were reversed if it was me
05:30would you believe it no Tim what are you gonna do I don't know
05:45Mary Mary we did it they got the money and the cops are following the guy who
05:52picked it up they say she'll be here by 10 o'clock tonight
05:56thank you Jody call yeah he sounded okay he said he might drop by later all right
06:02hi guys hey Bob and I've been working on a new act we thought you might like to
06:07see it Oh fellas please we're not really in the mood now I just kind of needed
06:11the practice I thought maybe it might break the tension around here the trick
06:13is I read minds oh come on that's true I do come on Chuck do your stuff okay
06:17okay yeah here we go
06:21are you ready ready okay Danny take something anything hold it up in front of
06:28Bob
06:30oh it's uh ground it's speaking he's got to be peeking in all right wait a
06:59minute wait a minute what's that okay okay okay I got it it's uh it's uh do
07:22you know what kind of a goldmine we got here Chuck can see what you're holding
07:26but Bob can't
07:32hey don't you get it no how'd you do it oh come on tell me is there a trick
07:44involved I know Bert beg your pardon I know you know what I know about your
08:01affair I know then you are having one no but you just admitted it I admitted to
08:10knowing that you know but I didn't have any affair okay the night you didn't
08:17come home the night you said a plane landed on the highway if you are not
08:22having an affair where were you really on that night I was at the woman's
08:31apartment I hate you oh so what's this you can and I can't well let me tell you
08:37something Mary what's good for the goose the gander can have a hell of a good
08:40time with to what are you talking about goose I know what I know about you and
08:47your professor what about me and my professor what about you and your
08:51professor let me put it this way Mary now I know why they call it adult
08:54education you're crazy I saw you you saw what I came home early open the door and
09:04I saw you and your professor on the couch going at it pretty good yeah you
09:09didn't see me go she was so busy I left and I got drunk and I did the same thing
09:12you did he attacked me what he attacked me and I threw him out that is what you
09:19walked in on your big dope an attack yes not an affair an attack yes they look
09:32the same so you mean because of what you thought you walked in on you went
09:40out and slept with someone I just said that so you would tell me that you were
09:47but are you lying to me oh Mary I thought you were having an affair I mean
09:55you understand me I did it because I was hurting and angry and drunk not because
10:00I wanted to uh who is she that's not important I want to know Mary it's
10:08meaningless it's over did you have a nice time I don't know don't know I
10:12don't remember it was one night I don't even remember it and I never did it
10:16again so what difference does it make who it was she's skinny I have to know
10:24that is she skinny I don't know no I think I don't think she was I think she
10:30wasn't in fact I think she was obese in fact I think she was grotesque
10:35is she young Mary please she's mentioned something about voting for Coolidge
10:40that's Mary I'm sorry but when I thought about you and your professor I didn't
10:48know what to do I I didn't want to do that I wanted to die but I did that
10:51instead but so it's not like I really did it maybe you didn't mean to do it
10:55but you did do it only because I thought you did it you could have asked oh sure
11:02I could have come in pull the two of you apart and said pardon me are you doing
11:05it
11:10Mary please look Mary I only know one thing that what we have is more
11:17important to me than anything else in the world and to let it end because of
11:21some dumb stupid mistake Mary that's wrong it's a waste
11:25yeah please may you gotta forgive me I'll try burden what can I say except
11:34I'll try
11:39I love you man I really do
11:47you
12:06you want me to get that if you don't mind
12:12afternoon detective Donahue hello mr. state no thanks I'll just hold on to it
12:21you're very late sorry I'm late but I was arrested arrested yeah Oh Benson can
12:26I get a scotch no thank you save my liver arrested yeah I was walking down
12:33East 48th Street saw a man about six feet tall with a bandage around his head
12:37I was sure it was your husband I called him to stop he started running I chased
12:41after him finally wrestled him to the ground turned out to be the ambassador
12:44from India detective Donahue you can call me George George it's my name
12:50George George this was not an easy decision to make but I've decided to
12:55fire you because I was late why are you strict I'll be on time tomorrow I
13:01promise not because of that it's because of the way I feel about you huh me my
13:07big mouth I'd like to rip out my tongue because then every time I talked I sound
13:11like an idiot because of how I feel probably can't even eat without a tongue
13:16I feel about you the way you feel about me because French kissing would
13:20definitely what what'd you say I'm afraid I feel the same way you do well
13:27that's great oh it's terrible it's terrible why is it terrible because I'm
13:32married and I love my husband well I can understand I mean I can understand that
13:36it's probably nothing I can do is there anything I can do well and some other
13:41time some other place some other world what wait what I just hate to see you
13:47leave what doesn't thrill me either I'm so confused do you think that it's
13:51possible for a woman to care for two men my mother did she did no but I'll say
13:56anything right now you see I have one man here that I care for who is actually
14:02here to look for the other man I care for who is not here and then of course I
14:05mean if you find him then I will have both men here that I care for but I mean
14:10if you leave then I won't have either man here you see that I can't you see
14:15maybe I just don't know what to do I have a
14:20suggestion unfire you right okay I have another suggestion right my little kiss
14:29oh I don't think so just a little peck on the cheek just a little one little
14:37peck on the cheek you won't feel a thing be like a fly landing
14:43okay nope nothing in your ear
14:54Benson how about Pepsi no thanks valuable man Benson I wish there were a
15:00million more like him there are would you like to stay for dinner see that
15:06sounds like good no I don't think so probably just take the train go down the
15:11city and get back on this case say yeah are you sure about me yes okay
15:17I'm gonna find your husband see ya see ya
15:25thank you park sit down what for we've got to have a little talk about what
15:32about mrs. Tate what about what in the hell do you think you're doing doing
15:39don't you think she's been through enough without having to deal with you I
15:42love right I don't have to take this stuff from you yes you do and let me
15:49tell you something else you got to do what's that watch out for me because if
15:53you cause her one moment of grief I'm coming after you detective now let me
15:57tell you something that woman's smile is the best thing that's happened to me in
16:01ten years and if you think for one moment I'm gonna let a little bit of
16:04grief touch that smile you're crazy you still want that scotch sure good make
16:11two I'll have one
16:14I hate waiting so do I for anything
16:34it's Joey that happy to see me we were waiting for Elaine how are you I'm fine
16:45fine I thought I'd come over and wait with you you're okay yeah you're sure
16:49positive I'm a little depressed that's what I thought it's reasonable to be
16:55depressed you just got jilted it's very depressing of course it is anyone would
16:59be a little depressed hey I'd be devastated actually I'm depressed and
17:03devastated that's normal I mean this thing has completely put me away I can't
17:07stand I'm depressed and devastated so how you doing Jody feeling okay fine
17:13fine good I'm glad to hear you feeling better I uh I changed your room into a
17:21sewing room but I'd love to change it back I mean I never saw and every time I
17:24pass it makes me feel guilty so why don't you move back in I know what
17:27you're thinking but I wouldn't have to so it'd be wonderful I hate sewing I'm
17:32not gonna kill myself did I say that did you hear me say anything about killing I
17:36mentioned sewing not killing ma I'm gonna be okay I promise I'm not gonna
17:41kill myself Elaine oh god she's been shot
17:51I'm home don't talk babe save your strength do you know that I love you I
17:59know do you really know yes don't talk please rest you're not dying Elaine
18:09you're not dying do something somebody please do something
18:17it's all right it's all right I love you Elaine I love you do you know that yes
18:25I've always loved you not always always always even when you called me yachts
18:30even then I loved you I never meant it I know I know silly I know don't be sad
18:40Danny I don't want you to be sad don't talk please Elaine save your strength
18:47save your strength because it's all right it's all right
18:53you've got to save your strength Elaine
18:59don't talk don't talk I'll talk let me talk I love you I love you and you're
19:08home now and you're gonna be fine I promise Elaine you're gonna be fine
19:12you're gonna be just fine
19:18I am fine
19:23you're gonna be fine I you've got to be you've got to be please please please be
19:31fine
19:35Elaine
19:38it's all right now Elaine it's all right you're home
20:08you
20:26isn't it hard to believe that Elaine is dead does Mary really believe birth that
20:31it was one night with an old fat lady does Jessica believe she can be in love
20:35with two men at the same time what will Tim do since he doesn't believe
20:38Corinne do you blame him for not believing Corinne would you believe
20:41Corinne these questions and many others will be answered on the next episode of
20:45soap soap is videotaped before a studio audience