Veep Season 2 Episode 2 Signals
Veep Season 2 Episode 2 Signals
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00:00Andrew, you know what?
00:16You resented my success when we were married, okay?
00:19But now it is absolutely eating you raw.
00:22You were the best thing that ever happened to me and you threw it away.
00:24Yeah, you were the best thing that...
00:25I was the best thing that ever happened to you and you just threw it away.
00:28Ma'am, we have to go now if you want to catch Kent for a hostages meeting.
00:31Okay, listen, I will not have you undermine me with Catherine, all right?
00:36You be wanting a clutch.
00:38I will.
00:39Okay.
00:40I will not!
00:41Oh, you do?
00:42No, no, I will.
00:43I want the bag.
00:44No!
00:45I want Catherine to spend Thanksgiving with me, not some random boyfriend.
00:48And what about poor Meemaw, who's guaranteed to be dead by March, with any luck?
00:53Mm-hmm.
00:54Well, congratulations.
00:55You have successfully learned how to manipulate Catherine.
00:58How is that insulting to her?
01:01God, you just turn it all around...
01:04Okay, just hanging up on him.
01:05Shall we go?
01:06Yeah, let's just get out.
01:07There's some Advil in the bag.
01:08Yeah, I hope we have a number for a contract killer, too.
01:11I'll do it.
01:13Nice wheels, Mike.
01:14Is it new?
01:17Not quite.
01:18Like your mother, it's been previously loved and paid for by a couple of guys.
01:22I guess this means you cleared your debts, huh?
01:25I've added this to my debt.
01:27Oh, the old drink-your-way-out-of-alcoholism approach.
01:31I like it.
01:32No, this isn't like when I drank.
01:35You had a drinking problem?
01:37Not a problem.
01:39An issue.
01:40Not even an issue, a hitch.
01:42You had a drinking hitch?
01:44Dan, I owe a hundred grand.
01:46Nothing I can do will change that.
01:49So?
01:50I've accepted what I cannot change.
01:52A few extra grand doesn't matter.
01:54Are you drunk right now?
01:56Morning, Mr. Egan.
01:57Have you read the regionality paper?
01:58No.
01:59Okay.
02:00Have a great day.
02:03I get that all the time.
02:04No, you don't.
02:06But I need to talk to that autistic lumberjack son of a bitch.
02:10Oh, there he is.
02:11Hi, Kent.
02:12Madam Vice President.
02:13Hey, I heard you were doing Pilates.
02:15Didn't know you had a core.
02:17I do, and it's like steel.
02:20So, are we really not doing anything about the hostages now?
02:24Nothing at all?
02:26We are doing something.
02:27Yeah? What are we doing?
02:28Nothing.
02:29Until the numbers support intervention, doing nothing is the most positive thing we can do.
02:34You know, it's just so great talking to you, Kent.
02:36I love being close to the inaction.
02:38The national security meeting this afternoon is still happening, right?
02:41Yes.
02:424.30.
02:43Hostages and the SM-17 missile defense system sale to Israel will both be discussed.
02:47Okay.
02:48SM-17D, there's a lowercase d.
02:50Oh, my God.
02:51Details are important.
02:52A misplaced decimal point can kill a diabetic.
02:54Yes, sir.
02:55Well, I look forward to attending the meeting as per our deal.
02:58POTUS would love to have you there, as would I.
03:00That's if you can possibly be back in time.
03:03Back in time for what?
03:04I'm sorry.
03:05I have an 8.45.
03:06Mr. Ryan?
03:07Yes, sir.
03:08What?
03:09No.
03:10Kent?
03:11Ma'am?
03:12Yes?
03:13The Listen to Rural America program that you okayed with POTUS after the midterms is looking set to bear fruit.
03:17Why don't you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point, Jonah?
03:20The North Carolina Pork Board is having a pig picking today.
03:23Sounds classy.
03:24Will Kate Middleton be there?
03:26POTUS would like to get you down there and utilize your people skills to kick off U.S.A.
03:31That's what they're gonna call it?
03:32Yeah.
03:33Who came up with that incredibly shitty name?
03:35That would be me, ma'am.
03:37Okay.
03:38So they want me to go to a pig roast to meet a bunch of men who probably took turns to fuck the pig before they roasted it?
03:46I wouldn't presume they took turns.
03:47Let me tell you something.
03:48I'm going to that 4.30 meeting even if I have to get sued to fly around the world the wrong way like Superman in reverse time.
03:55Do you understand that?
03:56Yes, ma'am.
03:57Okay.
03:58Um, ma'am, uh, my dad has taken a turn for the worse in thinking this pig picking...
04:04Oh, yeah.
04:05Skip it.
04:06Skip it.
04:07Go to him.
04:08I'll bring you back a sandwich and a six-toed husband.
04:10Do you know, maybe if she landed at a different base, then we could actually...
04:13Gary, this is not your area of expertise.
04:16It's just typing into a calendar.
04:19Ooh.
04:20I'm sorry, Sue.
04:21Your job is really difficult.
04:22Excuse me.
04:23You do it very efficiently.
04:24Gary.
04:25Oh, thank you, Jesus.
04:26We gotta go.
04:27Yep.
04:28We're gonna go mix with the Hicks.
04:29Congressman Furlong called and he'd like some face time.
04:32Okay.
04:33Well, let's see.
04:34I'd rather set fire to my vulva, so that's a no.
04:37He's in town trying to play nice for a possible Senate run in the next year or so.
04:41Seriously?
04:42Roger Furlong trying to play nice is like Brando trying to play Annie.
04:45That's a good one, Mike.
04:46Thanks, Pam.
04:47Wait.
04:48Ma'am?
04:49I just got a message here.
04:50Something about a paper that your daughter wrote that ended up on some guy's blog.
04:54See, this is why China regulates their internet.
04:56What does this say?
04:57I don't know.
04:58Some film studies course?
04:59A paper she wrote?
05:00An essay?
05:01Did you know that I'm paying 65 grand a year to that school?
05:03Are they probably putting gold on that popcorn instead of butter, right?
05:06Oh, ma'am.
05:07What?
05:08Oh, no.
05:09Ma'am.
05:10I'm out of here.
05:12What?
05:13POTUS wants me to monitor U.S. hay.
05:15It's kind of my pet project.
05:17Oh, for fuck's sakes.
05:18This must be the first pet project of yours that didn't involve resorting to chloroform.
05:22Yeah, well, it's early days, Mike.
05:24Can you take care of this Catherine business?
05:26I got someplace I gotta be.
05:27Where?
05:28Well, I think I might have found a way to get to Kent Davison.
05:32If you kill his mother and then dress in her skin, that's technically illegal.
05:36Technically.
05:38Now, the VEAPS office is pumped about the new foreign policy portfolio, sir.
05:47And I read this really interesting paper on how regionality is actually a more significant political prism than nationality.
05:56Did you just join this Pilates studio, Mr. Egan?
06:00Yeah, yeah, you know, it's convenient.
06:03Where do you live?
06:04Nearby.
06:05Local.
06:07See here.
06:13I hear the hostage situation's really heating up.
06:16I hope you've done Pilates before.
06:18People think they can just get on one of these machines.
06:22No.
06:23Six months I did before I got on this.
06:26Well, I'm all about the long-term goals.
06:35Mike, look at this.
06:39Look at this, Mike.
06:43Just sipping some coffee, Air Force Two.
06:46Real good.
06:47Take a picture of me looking out the window.
06:49Jonah, Jonah, calm down.
06:51It's a plane with a logo.
06:52It's not Space Mountain.
06:53What the hell do you do on Air Force One?
06:55Rub your dick on the seats?
06:58I haven't actually been on Air Force One.
07:01What?
07:02I haven't been.
07:03Oh!
07:05Ma'am.
07:09How you doing, Mike?
07:10I'm doing great, ma'am.
07:11Heard about your financial situation.
07:14You know, the boat and everything.
07:16It's fine.
07:17I've changed the only thing I can.
07:19My reaction to things.
07:21Oh, and your boxers occasionally, I hope?
07:23I have a fresh pair every day now.
07:25Oh, good for you, Mike.
07:28Hey, ma'am.
07:30What, Gary? What's wrong?
07:32I know you think I'm melodramatic, ma'am.
07:34I know you're melodramatic.
07:37Our world has just ended.
07:46Mike!
07:50Read this.
07:53What is this?
07:57Revealed.
07:58Selina's secret stash of signals.
08:00When the VP rubs her right ear, an aide will tell her she has an important call that she must take.
08:05In an unwanted conversation, this is her exit strategy.
08:08All right.
08:09Well, somebody wiki-leaked the code.
08:12So we can't use those. We need new signals.
08:15Those signals took years.
08:17I can't just tear up the Jess dictionary and come up with new codes like that.
08:20Okay, that could be a signal. Kind of a silent click.
08:23Would you please? Okay, could you just?
08:25I just need something basic for today.
08:26I don't want to get stuck talking pig shit with people who use hay as furniture.
08:31I need an exit strategy to be in D.C. by 4.30.
08:34So start thinking.
08:35Okay, but we have to make these new signals subtle so they don't kind of look like signals.
08:41You do realize that that was the point of the old signals, right, Mike?
08:45I realize that.
08:46Oh, you slap your hands together, kind of give it a little thumbs up.
08:50No, that's like I squished a bug and then I said, oh, it's so cool, I squished a bug.
08:54What if you scratch your head with your phone in your hand?
08:56What about this?
08:59Oh.
09:01You don't look pretty.
09:02Oh, forget it.
09:03I got it. You can rub your eyebrow. No one will see that it's subtle.
09:07It looks natural.
09:08What if people think I have crabs in my eyebrows?
09:10How can you have crabs in your eyebrow?
09:13Okay, Gary, when a man and a woman love each other very much and it's the man's birthday...
09:18Crab in a hat.
09:20What?
09:21It's your daughter.
09:22What? What is it?
09:24She's fine, but she's done something that will make you want to kill her.
09:30Christ, it's everywhere.
09:32All right, well, if it's just a film studies essay...
09:34No, Catherine's essay is about Imad Bernat's movie, Five Broken Cameras.
09:39All right, if Owen Wilson's not in it, I probably don't know it.
09:41It's about non-violent Palestinian resistance to Israeli settlement of the West Bank.
09:45That doesn't sound like one of Owen's.
09:47She talks about masterly portrayal of brutal, illegal Israeli aggression.
09:51Ouch.
09:52We have to issue a statement.
09:54All right, well, you know, standard issue, pro-Israeli, pro-Palestinian,
09:58but subtly more pro-Israeli statement.
10:00I mean, hit F9 and print that fucker out.
10:02No, this needs to be top notch.
10:04This needs to be the Gettysburg Address of tightrope walking, say nothing bullshit.
10:08My time has come.
10:10All right, well, next election, I guess we lose Florida then.
10:14And we got wheels down in 15.
10:16All right, I gotta change.
10:18All right, I'll text you.
10:19Gary, what am I supposed to wear today?
10:22At least that's good.
10:24Well, howdy, y'all.
10:26Oh, my goodness, look at this.
10:28Walking the walk, talking the pork.
10:30Look at you, a grown woman with cotton candy.
10:33Pink like your cheeks.
10:35Let me give you both a hug.
10:36Oh, gosh, that looks like finger-licking fun.
10:39That's a term I just coined today.
10:40Do you like it?
10:41Everybody's having such a good time, but this young man doesn't have anything to eat.
10:45Now, why would that be?
10:46Oh, I hope you're not just striving to death, sweetheart.
10:49What's going on?
10:50We gotta get some meat on your boat, and there you go.
10:53Atkin you shall receive.
10:56Why am I the only one wearing a cowboy hat?
10:59I'm gonna take its head off.
11:01No, hot hair, hot hair, please don't.
11:03Yes, she's pressing the flesh very well, sir, and these people have a lot of flesh.
11:09Two things in politics to avoid, Middle East and family strife, and we're combining both?
11:13Now, you get the daughter to apologize.
11:15You have my authority, ergo, you have POTUS's authority.
11:20Understood?
11:21Yes, sir.
11:23If this were the 60s, we could just have the National Guard shoot the daughter.
11:27West Wing.
11:28West Wing.
11:29Pardon me.
11:30Come this way.
11:31Oh, hi there.
11:32You've got such a pretty purple tie.
11:33Oh, hello, little girl.
11:34Office of the President.
11:35Please step off to the side.
11:38Ma'am, I have been charged with informing you that you need to get your daughter, Catherine,
11:43to apologize unequivocally and immediately.
11:47Yeah?
11:48Well, go shit yourself, Long Tall Sally, because I will deal with my daughter in my own way, on my own terms.
11:57Yes, ma'am.
11:58Oh, here's your mom.
11:59Hey, you got her.
12:00Hi, Catherine.
12:02How are you?
12:03Hi, Mom.
12:04Stop it.
12:05Stop it.
12:06You're freaking me out.
12:07Stop it.
12:08Freaking you out?
12:09No, honey, not you, Catherine.
12:11It was Mike.
12:12It was Mike.
12:13He had you on top of his body.
12:14No, that came out wrong.
12:16Listen, how are you doing?
12:18I'm okay.
12:19I'm getting a lot of attention.
12:21Yeah.
12:22Why are you wearing a cowboy hat?
12:23I'm at a pork event.
12:25Listen, you can't talk to anybody about this essay.
12:29No media, no journalists, or anything.
12:31You have somebody there, sweetie?
12:32Who is that?
12:35Yeah, actually, it's my boyfriend.
12:38You're kidding.
12:39That's exciting.
12:41His name's Rahim.
12:42He's Dilka's brother.
12:43Dilka's brother?
12:45What, do you have a problem with him being Iranian?
12:48Okay, Catherine, you know that I am not a racist, okay?
12:53My boyfriend in college was a quarter Cherokee.
12:55Mom, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to say sorry, okay?
13:00No.
13:01Catherine, don't.
13:02All right.
13:03Well, that works perfectly.
13:04Good talk with Catherine?
13:06Well, we had happier conversations,
13:08like when I told her her grandpa had died.
13:10Oh, she didn't like him, huh?
13:12No, that's not what I meant.
13:14Oh, sorry, it's just my grandpa, he was a real prick.
13:16Okay.
13:17I mean, he was...
13:18Mike, you need to get a chopper.
13:20I want you to go to Catherine's college.
13:22No, you pick her up, bring her to the air base, all right?
13:25Get some towels.
13:26I may need to daughterboard her.
13:27Okay.
13:30You hate choppers, Mike.
13:32I know.
13:33I'm always afraid I'm going to get my head cut off.
13:36It happened.
13:37It happened.
13:44While Israel's military, uh, not occupation...
13:47No, no, uh, presence.
13:49While Israel's military presence...
13:50Mm-hmm.
13:51Words, words, words.
13:52Oh, this whole being pleasant is fucking exhausting.
13:55Yes, sir, it's very tiring.
13:56I'm running out of nice juice to spray at these shit munchers.
13:59Hi there, good to see you.
14:00Um, we also desire a settled homeland for the Palestinian people.
14:04Oh, look what we have here.
14:06Not only Ginger Rogers, but also Ginger Rogers.
14:09Nice joke construction, sir.
14:11Stop trying to polish my dick, you fucking four-eyed failure.
14:14Okay.
14:15And...
14:16Greetings, friends.
14:17We're just in the building, so we stopped by.
14:19In the building?
14:20Okay, what are you guys, washing the windows today, working on the bathrooms?
14:23You're quite the wit, Dan.
14:25Yeah, you know what? I am quite the wit.
14:26We were just heading to the hospital.
14:28My father's breathing has become very bad.
14:32They think he might not last through the night.
14:35And Dan needs to come with me so we can continue the statement.
14:39Apologies.
14:40No, no, not at all. I'm sorry about your dad.
14:41Okay, we should be going.
14:42All right, we'll talk another time, then.
14:44I got all the time in the world.
14:46We do actually have to be out of D.C. by tomorrow evening.
14:48It's a metaphor.
14:49I don't think it's strictly a figure of speech, sir.
14:52You know, you're about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants.
14:55How's that for a fucking metaphor?
14:56It's a simile, sir.
14:57Shut your mouth, you fat girl.
15:00So, uh, what hospital is your dad in?
15:04George Washington.
15:06Oh, that's a good one.
15:11Got a big Starbucks there.
15:13It's nice. You know, people go in there that aren't even...
15:16You don't have to speak.
15:18There you go, ma'am.
15:20You taste that? That's heaven right there.
15:22This is big, but I bet I can finish it.
15:24I'm gonna smash the I-4 corridor,
15:27and I mean smash it,
15:29all the while focusing on the inside game.
15:31Then we'll...
15:33Holy cow.
15:35A pig.
15:37It's... It's not being in the helicopter.
15:40That's fine. I can ride in a helicopter.
15:42It's just getting in is...
15:44I'm afraid it's gonna wobble.
15:46Like, you know, like it chopped the top of my head off
15:48like a soft-boiled egg,
15:49and then I'm, like, running around trying to put my head back on.
15:52This is crazy, Mike.
15:53All I did was write a review of a movie.
15:55I know, Catherine,
15:57but the whole Middle East thing is very confusing.
16:00Right, Rahim?
16:01I don't know.
16:03Sometimes it can seem pretty clear-cut to me, but...
16:05Yeah, well...
16:06Excuse me.
16:08Mike, where are you?
16:11Um, at the hog roast.
16:13And are you paralyzed from the neck down?
16:16Why aren't you stopping this?
16:17Stopping what?
16:19Has the position of this administration
16:21changed toward Israel and Palestine?
16:25We support the state of Israel, of course.
16:29Mike, the VP is voicing solidarity
16:32with the Jewish people in front of rotating pork.
16:36For the Jewish people...
16:38Change the visual.
16:40Deport the visual.
16:41Yes, sir.
16:43J-1-1, what's the Jonah emergency?
16:46Jonah, move the veep away from the pig.
16:49Think about the sensitivities here.
16:51What, pork?
16:52Mike, most Jews in this country are fine with pork.
16:55Pork schmork, they often say.
16:57Most Jews in this country aren't fine with pork, Mr. Davis.
17:00And pork schmork, really.
17:02You ever hear of the Old Testament, Mike?
17:04Israel, Europe.
17:06Jonah, Israel, Europe.
17:08Okay, fuck, fine, Mike,
17:10but you fucking owe me for this.
17:12Excuse me.
17:14These pork folks won't ask Selina
17:16about Middle East politics, right?
17:18Oh, no, those fuckers probably think
17:20that Middle East means Kansas.
17:22You know, I'm not really great with illness
17:26or death or, you know, basic empathy,
17:29but I just want to say I'm sorry about your dad,
17:31and I think you're being really brave.
17:33Why are we stopping here?
17:35That's my dad.
17:37Jesus, he doesn't look like he's dying.
17:39My family was guilt-tripping the shit out of me,
17:41and so I exaggerated to come visit.
17:43Besides a dying dad can be a get-out-of-jail-free card,
17:46like with Furlong.
17:48That is cold.
17:50Also kind of hot.
17:53And as a homeland for the Jewish people.
17:56While at the same time we support
17:59a settled homeland for the Palestinians.
18:02I can still see the pig's ass.
18:04You're not blocking it. Bend down.
18:06Tie your shoe, whatever.
18:08A circle is tricky to square.
18:10The president and I are...
18:13We really need a bulkier man in this situation.
18:17Am I there?
18:18Get closer to it.
18:20Okay, Mike, it's right next to the coals.
18:22The coals are hot.
18:24Hey, quit touching the pig.
18:26It's not a fucking petting zoo.
18:28Ma'am, this is a matter of security, okay?
18:30You think this pig's going to attack her?
18:32Son, that fucker is skinned and roasted.
18:35He's at a huge disadvantage.
18:37Look, office of the president, all right?
18:39So I'm staying.
18:40I don't care if there's a funeral procession.
18:42Do you use that street?
18:43It is to be closed by 4 o'clock today.
18:45It'll cheer the family up, sir.
18:47Everyone loves a motorcade.
18:49Hello, what do you want?
18:51You can't have it. Goodbye.
18:52The congressman would like to have a very polite chat
18:55in the next few days with the vice president.
18:57No, he cannot.
18:59I need you to let the veep know that I just wanted to apologize
19:02for any erratic behavior she might have witnessed from me in the past.
19:06Does erratic behavior include you storming into this office
19:09and violently yelling at everyone?
19:11Yes. I wasn't myself.
19:14I was having a bit of a rough go.
19:17My wife, and I'm not looking for sympathy for this,
19:20but she was very ill with kidney disease.
19:23Your wife is perfectly fine.
19:24She ran the Seattle Marathon.
19:26All right, don't fuck with me, honey.
19:27Just put my fucking name in your stupid fucking schedule
19:30and get me a face-to-face with the veep now.
19:33Excuse me, you need to leave this office now, sir.
19:35Oh, we do need to leave this.
19:36Oh, really?
19:37Yeah.
19:38Okay, I got boxes and boxes on Selina Meyer.
19:40You understand me?
19:41I got Pandora's fucking boxes on her.
19:44Warfighting lies to many people in your party
19:47about the environmental impact of what we do.
19:50You can't raise pigs without excrement, ma'am.
19:54It just can't be done.
19:55I see, yes.
19:56They defecate, and they defecate with speed and volume.
20:02Oh, goodness.
20:03Well, I hear that.
20:04They're pigs.
20:05Why wouldn't they?
20:06And I'm interested to hear a few other folks.
20:08I thank you for your time.
20:10Hello, Miss America?
20:12I've been scratching my eyebrows for three and a half fucking hours.
20:16Where have you been?
20:17I thought we weren't doing the eyebrow thing.
20:19You sent out the crabs.
20:20Okay, from now on, we're doing the eyebrow thing, okay?
20:23And we gotta get out of here.
20:24Did I tell you my girlfriend came up with the eyebrow thing?
20:26Oh, well, good for her.
20:27We gotta go, right?
20:35Yeah, since the midterms, it's been really apocalyptic.
20:38I know you're busy, honey.
20:39It's fine.
20:40But right now, I am focused on you, Daddy.
20:50Is that Dan Egan?
20:54So you discussed our signals with your girlfriend?
20:57Yeah, she's really creative.
20:59I thought she could come up with some good ones.
21:01And is she the only civilian that you shared them with?
21:04Oh, yeah.
21:06Well, no, no, Dana would not leak.
21:09Classic first-age denial.
21:11Quiet.
21:12I mean, it must be.
21:14Gary, think about it.
21:16It must be Dana.
21:20Oh, my God.
21:21She's getting a leak on.
21:23What in the living fuck is that god-awful smell, Jonah?
21:27Oh, my jacket is partially soaked in pork fat, ma'am.
21:30Oh.
21:32So you two aren't back together, then?
21:36No, no, just colleagues.
21:39You broke her heart, you know that.
21:41No.
21:42Yeah.
21:43No.
21:44He didn't even graze it.
21:47We went on three dates.
21:49Oh, dang, Amy, you put out quick.
21:51Amy and I just weren't compatible.
21:53Right.
21:54It turns out I can't mate with anyone outside of my species.
21:57We all know what you need, Amy.
21:59I mean, besides big fat slap.
22:01I do not want children, okay?
22:03Why can nobody accept this?
22:05Sweetie, you do not have to decide right now.
22:07You still have plenty of time.
22:09I remained fertile till I was 56.
22:11Terrific.
22:12Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean that I am supposed to be popping them out.
22:15Oh, for God's sake, Amy.
22:16We just want you to be happy, sweetie.
22:17That's all.
22:18I am happy without kids.
22:20Really?
22:21I am, right?
22:22Oh, she's deliriously happy.
22:23At work, we actually call her Amyable Amy.
22:25I think I'm gonna get a coffee.
22:27Anyone else?
22:28No, thank you.
22:29I will help you carry that second coffee.
22:34I wrote an essay about a very important film.
22:38Okay, you should be proud of me.
22:39It's not Debbie Does Damascus.
22:41No, I am proud of you, but sweetheart,
22:43if we lose the pro-Israel vote,
22:46then we lose Florida in two years,
22:48and that's 29 electoral votes,
22:50and then Mommy's out of a job.
22:52Okay, I'm still not going to apologize.
22:54Have you even seen the movie that I'm talking about?
22:57When would I have time to see a film?
22:59I haven't even been able to see
23:01that wonderful movie with the blue people in it.
23:04Avatar.
23:05Avatar, exactly.
23:07So you're graduating in, what, a year?
23:09Yeah, hopefully, if I can get the money together
23:11for the last two semesters.
23:13Ah, money's tight, huh?
23:15You know what my attitude to money is?
23:17Yeah, well, I'll be 22 when I graduate,
23:19I'll owe 60 grand, and I did the math.
23:21I'll chase my student debt for the next 27 years of my life.
23:25Hey, uh, fresh coffee back here if you guys want some.
23:27Oh, great, yeah.
23:29Coffee.
23:34Oh, God. Oh, my God.
23:37I owe 100 grand.
23:41Sweet Jesus Christ.
23:44I want to see the film, and I will see the film.
23:47And, Gary, we need to get it. It's five easy pieces.
23:49It's five broken cameras.
23:51Okay, it's broken cameras.
23:52Okay, Mom, don't even bother.
23:53This is gonna be, like, supersized me all over again.
23:55Why don't you guys just go see Mamma Mia again
23:58for the tenth fucking time?
24:00Do not swear at me, Catherine.
24:02Don't.
24:04Okay, look, I'm sorry.
24:07I understand that you are feeling attacked, babe,
24:10and that's why I'm here with you right now.
24:13I'm supposed to be at the national security meeting,
24:16but you are my priority, okay?
24:19Okay.
24:20You hear what I'm saying?
24:21Yeah, I'll apologize.
24:23Good girl.
24:24If I can spend Thanksgiving with Rahim and his family.
24:27No, darling. We've got Grandma coming.
24:30We gotta smile at her and cut her jello.
24:37Yeah, Sue.
24:38Mike, if she's in the can, haul her out.
24:41All right, I don't care if she's trailing the paper.
24:43She can make this if she leaves right this second.
24:45She's currently with her daughter.
24:47Look, Mike, man up and prioritize, okay?
24:50You do it every day. Prioritize, that is.
24:53Okay.
24:56Well, what about Wednesday?
24:58Ma'am, you need to make like a snake and get on that airplane.
25:01Okay, but I'm in the middle of a important conversation with my daughter,
25:06so everything can be put on hold, okay?
25:08Okay.
25:10You're welcome.
25:11So I have to spend Thanksgiving with you and me ma?
25:15Yes.
25:16Wednesday?
25:17Wednesday, you're with your dad.
25:18Thursday, you're with me and Grandma.
25:20Friday, you can be with a new boyfriend, okay?
25:23And Saturday?
25:25If you come home on Saturday night.
25:29Yeah, I'll check that over with Rahim.
25:37Okay, let's get going.
25:38You are a great negotiator.
25:40I know I am.
25:42Hey, so Sue called.
25:44Apparently she bitch slapped Furlong.
25:46She usually has to pay for that.
25:47And we need that Catherine apology ASAP, okay?
25:49I can do it, you can stay here.
25:50We'll liaise via email.
25:52Um, yeah, I really...
25:55Actually, you know what?
25:56Um, I would prefer it if you were physically there.
26:00It's, you know, important statement.
26:02You're right.
26:03That needs to happen. Let's go.
26:07You're welcome.
26:10Amy, little Amy.
26:11That is the best you could come up with?
26:13Yeah, you know, I knew I should have gone with Amy Whitehouse.
26:16It's very nice meeting you.
26:18It's so nice to meet you too.
26:19Not a vice president.
26:20Sure.
26:21What are you studying at school?
26:23Computer science, math minor.
26:25Where are you headed with all that?
26:26Hopefully actually get into a government branch.
26:29Defense or FBI maybe.
26:31Uh-huh.
26:32I speak Farsi.
26:33You speak Farsi?
26:34Yeah.
26:35But you were born here?
26:36Yes, I was born here.
26:38Uh-huh, great.
26:39And your parents were born here?
26:41No, well, they're actually born in Iran, in Tehran.
26:44Yeah, that's where we're from.
26:45Oh, I see.
26:46Yeah.
26:47Tehran.
26:48Yep.
26:49General Mercer from the Pentagon is on the phone.
26:51Oh, I don't need to talk to General Mercer right now.
26:53He's pretty insistent to talk to you now.
26:55I don't need a General Mercer call right now.
26:57Okay.
26:58He's really on the phone.
26:59Oh, General Mercer's on the phone.
27:01Um, can you hang tight two seconds, Raheem General Mercer?
27:06I'm sorry to be calling, Madam Vice President,
27:08but we are going to be discussing the hostage situation in around 25 minutes.
27:12Do you think you can get here?
27:14Or should we go ahead without you?
27:16Um, no, no, no.
27:17Don't go ahead without me.
27:18We can set up a video link from the plane.
27:21I got it.
27:22So that would work out perfectly.
27:24And I want Raheem to stay.
27:26Raheem, stay.
27:28Yeah.
27:29Okay.
27:30Thank you, Madam Vice President.
27:33We should actually probably go.
27:35I have to get back to study for a midterm.
27:38Yeah, yeah.
27:39What are your parents' names?
27:42That Raheem turns out to be a nice boy.
27:44Yes, ma'am.
27:46Let's run a security check on him and his entire family.
27:49Yes, ma'am.
27:50And investigate their finances.
27:52Yes, ma'am.
27:53I was actually reconsidering my financial situation.
27:56Oh, are you about to ask me for money, Mike?
27:59I don't want to, but...
28:00No, no, no.
28:01I thought you would.
28:02And I want to give you money.
28:04And I have the money, so why not?
28:06Exactly.
28:07And it's not a big...
28:08I'm giving cash to my Director of Communications.
28:11Do you think that that would play well, Mike?
28:13Yeah.
28:14No.
28:15No.
28:16No, it wouldn't.
28:17No, ma'am.
28:32I can't video conference like this.
28:35I can't get the den out at all.
28:37I look like Bozo.
28:38Do you want me to fix that?
28:40Oh, do you have a blow dryer?
28:41I don't.
28:42No.
28:44Whose idea was this hat?
28:45Was that Dana's idea too?
28:47Mm-mm.
28:48Did you talk to her?
28:49We texted.
28:51And?
28:52She may have mentioned the signals to one of her girlfriends.
28:58The link to your video conference is up, ma'am.
29:03Gary.
29:05I do not like to say this,
29:09but you have truly disappointed me today.
29:15Do you have any idea how foolish you have made me look?
29:28I am having the best day.
29:30This is such a great time.
29:33We're on Air Force Two.
29:34U.S. Hayes getting started.
29:36Guys, we saved the Florida vote.
29:39You guys want to play iPad Scrabble?
29:41Jonah, please.
29:43Just shut up.
29:45Mike, you want to suck some of the pork fat out of my jacket?
29:50Come on, it's a free meal.
29:54Hey, Lori.
29:55Did Kent Davidson still come here?
29:57No, he left.
29:58He said it was too full of D.C. people or something.
30:01I see you got a mention in the playbook yesterday.
30:04Yeah.
30:05Excellent.
30:07I have a Google Alert inside out the canine, so...
30:10Wow.
30:11Hey, did you catch Krauthammer in the post about the hostage situation?
30:14Are you the guy that always says hi to me in the garage?
30:16Yeah.
30:19I got to do some fucking weights.
30:20This is for rubber idiots.