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Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and global authority on power dynamics and men’s self-development.
He founded ThePowerMoves in 2016 to help good men win—without becoming as*holes.
Today, TPM is the #1 site for mastering power, strategies, and winning at life.
https://thepowermoves.com/
Lucio Buffalmano is a sociologist and global authority on power dynamics and men’s self-development.
He founded ThePowerMoves in 2016 to help good men win—without becoming as*holes.
Today, TPM is the #1 site for mastering power, strategies, and winning at life.
https://thepowermoves.com/
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LearningTranscript
00:00There are dark narcissists in this world looking to take advantage of others.
00:04Whether you classify them as narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths, it doesn't
00:09really matter. What really matters is that they want to take from you and
00:13unluckily they often succeed. This is because most people lack the power
00:17awareness to see their red flags, so it can be tough to spot them before it's
00:22too late. That's why in this video we are going to help you understand the
00:27psychology of dark narcissists and we will show you six surprising and
00:32foolproof signs to spot a dark narcissist so that you can recognize
00:37them and stay away. We will take Salt Bay as our primary example. Salt Bay was able
00:43to turn a small cheap restaurant in Turkey into a chain of outrageously
00:47expensive prime location hip places where celebrities and social media
00:52starlets wanted to see and be seen. Speaking of social media influencers,
00:57our first red flag is vanity and it may actually be the most benign sign in the
01:04era of widespread social media narcissism. On its own, vanity is not a
01:09red flag of darkness yet, but still there are degrees to vanity and when I saw the
01:16video that made Salt Bay famous, I couldn't help but think, God, what a
01:20narcissist. Turns out there were also bigger red flags than good old plain
01:25vanilla narcissism, the first of which is power. Power for them, of course, and
01:32disempowerment for you. Taking power from you includes endless types of power
01:37moves, including pulling you in for a hug you didn't exactly want, babying power
01:42moves such as patting you on the back or on the shoulder, invading your space or
01:47touching your stuff, or worse yet, our third major red flag, using you for
01:53social climbing. Social climbing because, you see, for dark narcissists it's never
01:59about friendship and it's never about being emotionally close. For them, it's
02:04all about taking advantage of you to elevate themselves. So, of course, like
02:09slimy creature they are, with no shame and dignity, they don't come to help when
02:14you're down, they come when you're growing and winning, because that's when
02:19there is more for them to take. The most blatant example is Salt Bay chasing
02:24Lionel Messi right at the peak of Messi's career. Now, please note the telling
02:30difference between an overly exuberant friend and the dark narcissist. No matter
02:36how pushy an exuberant friend may be, when he comes to you, he will celebrate
02:41you as the winner or at least he will celebrate both of you as the winners of
02:46the night. Instead, look what did Salt Bay do when
02:50Messi finally gave him some attention. First, he babied him with his patting, as if
02:56to display ownership over Messi and as if to say, my boy. Then, he had him look at
03:02the camera so that Messi will follow his lead. The goal was to frame himself as
03:08above Messi, tasking him as the leader and have Messi executing his task. Then,
03:15he could do his usual faces, trying to look like the cool guy that he would
03:18love to be and he will get his first page picture. The whole dark goal was to
03:24use Messi as a social peg so he could elevate himself above him. By the way,
03:31naive celebrities are dark narcissist favorite targets and so is any naive but
03:37high value person. Why so? Because they have lots of value but aren't power aware
03:43enough to recognize the dark narcissist and his games and they are unable to
03:49defend themselves. They make for the perfect targets. This is why the golden
03:55rule of self-development is this. The more high value you become, the more
04:00power aware you must become. Because there are literally millions of takers
04:06in the world and you absolutely want to know how to spot them, defend yourself
04:11and ideally switch the table and you taking advantage of them. Speaking of
04:16defending yourself, watch out for the self-help trap of being the eternal
04:21learner because our next red flag is this. Teacher frames. With teachers frames, the
04:28various narcissists and power movers of this world frame themselves as your
04:33teachers, your role models, your gurus or they sure won't mind your Jesus. Notice
04:39how Salt Bae makes sure to release videos where it always looks like he's
04:44instructing others, he's teaching them or dropping golden wisdom that everyone is
04:49attentively listening to. His favorite frame is the dominant guru dropping
04:55wisdom and everyone else lapping it up. This last one, the teachers frame, may be
05:00new to many but it makes sense. Well then pay attention now because our red
05:06flag number 5, the sociopath look, is a lot more contentious. The sociopath look
05:12is more contentious because for decades psychology denied any evidence for a
05:17connection between body and character and just to be sure that connection is
05:22far from foolproof and definitive so please don't jump to conclusions.
05:26However, if someone looks like a psychopath, an angry asshole or a very
05:30bad person, do take note because it certainly can mean something. Similarly,
05:37do not discount what people like to joke about. Again, sure they're joking so let's
05:42not jump to definitive conclusions but still do take notes because what people
05:47joke about is something that they chose subconsciously and it can tell you a lot
05:52about someone's psychology and character. Finally, our last red flag is
05:57something that may seem the most obvious. However, it can come in so many shapes
06:01and forms, including very subtle ones, that it's still very easy to miss it. And
06:07our last red flag is taking. Dark narcissist, psychopath and any words
06:13hassle in general is a taker and always seeks to take far more than he gives.
06:19Soulbabe being the exaggerated meme that it is, of course, makes it very
06:25obvious. From the price tags of his poorly rated food to hugging the
06:30spotlight and almost literally taking trophies away from people's hands.
06:35Unluckily, most words takers are far more subtle than this. They can come far more
06:40easily under the radar, it can be tougher to spot them and it can be tougher to
06:45deal with them. Which is one of the reasons why we created our flagship
06:49course, Power University. Our survey of Power University alumni shows that every
06:54single respondent has at least doubled his ability to read and assess other
07:00people's character. More than 60% of our respondents more than 10x their
07:06ability to assess others. Every single one of our respondent also increased his
07:11ability to gain status and respect from others. That means that to advance in
07:16life you don't need to act like a soulbabe. You can advance in life while
07:20being a high quality man who adds value to people's lives. That's our ultimate
07:25goal with Power University which also comes with a 30 days money-back
07:29guarantee and I truly believe there is nothing like this in the market. If you
07:35want to check it out, link in the description. Either way, thank you so much
07:38I look forward to seeing you in the next videos. Ciao!