• la semaine dernière
Transcription
00:00Back to entertain you, back to start the show, back to...
00:03Ah, I'm too hip for the room.
00:05The music !
00:31A.U.C.C.O. !
00:33Cousou, cousou, cousou !
00:34He's got the cool, he's got the chum in the looks
00:37And the hottie that can help a rat that they can't compose
00:40All on a goose for a cat and a mule
00:43He's got a million guests that he needs
00:46His friends are loyal, it's royal
00:48He'll help and get the foil
00:50Friends ? I thought this was all about me.
00:52Ha ha ! Spell my name again !
00:54A.U.C.C.O. !
00:56Cousou, cousou, cousou !
01:00Da-da-da !
01:06Attention !
01:07The bachelor charity auction begins in 5 minutes.
01:16Waka, be a pal, zip up my puff.
01:22Melina, I want to thank you for,
01:24Well, for bidding so much money on me in this bachelor charity auction.
01:28Ça n'a pas encore commencé.
01:30Oh, j'étais juste en train de me préparer pour plus tard.
01:31Maintenant, sors de là-bas et ouvre ta banque Kuzcoin.
01:33Mais le bide pour une date avec moi va être assez fou.
01:36Tu penses que je veux bider sur toi ?
01:38Toutes les filles le font !
01:39Mais il n'y en a qu'une qui va gagner son date rêve.
01:41Donc, pas de sourire si ce n'est pas toi, d'accord ?
01:44Kuzco, je suis venu ici seulement pour te souhaiter de la chance, mais...
01:47Oh, conseil d'inspecteur, ne bide pas toute ton économie de vie en avant.
01:49Oui, je suis valable, mais tu ne veux pas que les gens sachent que tu es désespérée.
01:53Pas un bon look.
01:54Tu sais quoi, peut-être que je vais bide pour toi,
01:55mais pas après que tu suves ça.
01:57C'est la chose la plus rude et la plus insensitive que j'ai jamais dit à quelqu'un.
02:01Tu l'as entendue ?
02:02Oh, elle allait bider pour moi et ça ainsi car elle m'aime.
02:05Et bientôt, on part sur un pointers date, date, date, date.
02:08Ben hé, oublie ça.
02:10Date, date, day, day date, date, date, date.
02:18Hey Melina, je peux te confirmer que tu vas bider ton auther chanson en tout cas sur Kuzco
02:21C'est qui t'as dit ça ?
02:23Qui t'a dit ça ?
02:24Kuzco.
02:25C'est exactement pourquoi j'ai mis mon argent sur Ramon.
02:28Pas du tout ! J'ai totalement utilisé l'option « acheter-le-maintenant ».
02:32Et maintenant, le moment que nous avons tous attendu.
02:36Except moi, je n'ai pas eu le choix.
02:38Notre premier « bachelor up for bid » est un « Puff Gourmet »,
02:41« Squirrel Talker » et chante sa propre musique de thème,
02:45« Kronk ».
02:46Ta-da !
02:48Golden et flambant à l'extérieur,
02:52totalement chaud à l'intérieur.
02:55Ce Puff n'est pas vachement cher.
02:5710 Kuzcoins !
02:58Melina ?
02:5910 Kuzcoins, bon départ !
03:00Est-ce que j'ai entendu « 12 » ?
03:0212 ! 13 ! 14 !
03:04Melina, ne brûle pas ton « life saving » juste pour faire Kuzco être jalouse.
03:0725 Kuzcoins !
03:09Vendu !
03:12Quel sentiment joyeux d'accueillir de l'argent pour une telle bonne cause.
03:15Une cause pour aider les autres.
03:17Une cause charitable.
03:18Oui, 25 Kuzcoins pour « Tall, Dark and in touch with his muscly side ».
03:21Mais quelle fille est-elle ?
03:22Pourquoi est-ce que Melina l'a brûlée ?
03:23Elle aurait pu avoir le prix supérieur.
03:25Peut-être qu'elle est juste en train de te faire jalouse.
03:27Melina ? En train de me faire jalouse ?
03:29C'est tellement pétillant.
03:30Seulement, je ferais quelque chose comme ça.
03:34Ta carte de crédit de Kuz ?
03:36Elle a une limite de 1000 Kuzcoins.
03:37Je peux l'utiliser uniquement pour les emergencies royales.
03:39Comme pour commencer une guerre de bids.
03:40Pour moi !
03:41Ça n'a pas l'air bien.
03:42Vous deux, en train de vous faire jalouse ?
03:44Oui, oui, blablabla.
03:45Plus de conversation, plus de bids.
03:47Notre prochain bachelor aime Kuzco.
03:49Aime Kuzco et aime Kuzco.
03:53Guaca !
03:54Kuzco règne !
03:56Pouvons-nous commencer la bide en...
03:59En libre ?
04:01Que se passe-t-il si il te paye pour une date ?
04:04Je l'accepterai !
04:05Merci...
04:06Maman de Guaca.
04:08Notre prochain bachelor est...
04:10Je l'ai réécrit.
04:13C'est une machine de date.
04:15Il est cool, il règle.
04:17Et vous n'êtes pas un fou de ne pas bider pour le plus chaud des températures.
04:22K-U-Z-C-O.
04:23Kuzco, Kuzco, go, go.
04:32OK.
04:33Des bids ?
04:34Attends, attends, attends.
04:35J'ai tout prévu.
04:36Jouer à l'éléphant.
04:37Jouer à la paix.
04:38Et voler dans mon jet-pack.
04:43La bide est ouverte.
04:45100 Kuzco.
04:47Seule l'audience peut bider, Guaca.
04:49Mesdames, lâchez vos chaussures.
04:59Je pense que...
05:061 000 Kuzco ?
05:07Vous ne deviez pas tout payer.
05:09Vendu. Fin de vente, pas de remboursement.
05:13Je n'arrive pas à croire qu'on mange comme ça.
05:16Vous venez souvent, Kuzco ?
05:17Tout le temps.
05:18J'aime ça ici à...
05:19Closed on Sundays.
05:21Vous êtes plus doux que du sucre-côte et de l'auberge pour venir ici.
05:24Au début, je pensais que c'était une partie de votre plan de faire Malina en colère.
05:28Quoi ?
05:29Bizarre.
05:30La dernière personne sur ma tête, en ce moment, c'est Malina.
05:33Et Kronk.
05:34Quelle coïncidence.
05:35Comme la coïncidence quand tu m'as demandé où Malina m'avait emmenée et que je t'ai dit de ne rien dire à personne.
05:39Je t'ai dit de ne rien dire à personne et je t'ai dit, bien sûr, pas de problème, Kuzco.
05:42Oui, cette coïncidence.
05:43Kuzco.
05:44Bien, félicitations, Yotta.
05:46On dirait que tu as eu ton date rêve.
05:48Viens, Kronk, notre table est prête.
05:55Ne t'en fais pas, Yotta. J'ai fait des choses pire que ça.
05:58Eh bien, peut-être qu'ils seront assis loin pour que tu ne te déranges pas.
06:02Mmh, ça a l'air bon.
06:03Steaks, pasta, choppes de capybara.
06:05Puffs internationales.
06:06Hot diggity.
06:07Oui, hot diggity.
06:08This is going to be the greatest date ever.
06:11Moukugai puffs, shishka puffs, fortune puffs, puffer schnitzel.
06:14I want to try them all.
06:15Look, I can try them all.
06:16They've got a puff boat.
06:18Oh, but that's 200 Kuzcoins.
06:19Pricy.
06:20Hum.
06:21Get a load of this guy, Yotta.
06:22Paying more attention to the menu than his date.
06:24Some manners.
06:25Um, Kuzco, your date went to the ladies' room.
06:28I knew that.
06:29Maybe I shouldn't risk it.
06:30Just stick with the spinach puffs.
06:31A classic.
06:32Right, Malina?
06:33Eh, whatever, Kronk.
06:34You have a lot to learn about manners, Kuzco.
06:37Oh, yeah?
06:38Well, while my date's gone, I'm going to order her
06:40the most expensive bottled water on the menu.
06:44I shall go get the secret key.
06:47But how can I get normal old puffs
06:49when they've got spaghetti and meat puffs?
06:51You should see the ladies' room.
06:52Real towels.
06:53Not like the reusable paper ones at Matka's.
06:56Kuzco, over here.
06:58Hm?
06:59Oh, right.
07:00Um, you say something?
07:01Kuzco?
07:03Our most expensive bottled water on the menu.
07:06Kuzco?
07:07Oh, uh, I didn't really mean to order this.
07:09See, this is not a real date.
07:11It's just yada.
07:12Bring her something more tap-watery.
07:15We'll take it.
07:17Delicious!
07:18We'll take another one.
07:20Of course, mademoiselle.
07:23And another.
07:25And another.
07:26And another.
07:27And another.
07:28And another.
07:30Classic.
07:31Hey!
07:32What are you going to have, Malina?
07:33Maybe a...
07:34Wait just a minute, Kronk.
07:35I'm dealing with a very rude diner.
07:38Hey!
07:39Are we ready to order?
07:41Sure enough.
07:42What's the fanciest thing you got?
07:44The pillbug tartare.
07:46Uh, yada, why not try the...
07:49Ketchup.
07:50That sounds good.
07:51I'll take four of them pillbug taters.
07:52They are very large, madame.
07:54Then give me eight.
07:5637 Kuzcoins each times eight.
07:58That's, uh...
07:59296 Kuzcoins.
08:01Why don't you just use your Kuz credit card?
08:03And why don't you mind your own table?
08:04Fine.
08:05The lady will have the bugs, and I'll...
08:07Just look at my reflection in this plate.
08:09Very good, sir.
08:11And for you, mademoiselle?
08:13Uh, I'll have what he's having.
08:15You order for both of us, uh...
08:17Kronk.
08:18Kronk! Right, I knew that.
08:19Order for both of us?
08:21Well, I, I, I...
08:23May I suggest the heathen herald's path birds?
08:26Well, I, I, I...
08:27What do you think, Malina?
08:29Yeah, whatever you want, Kronk.
08:30I trust your good taste.
08:33Whose good taste?
08:34You couldn't even remember his name.
08:35Could too. I was just thrown.
08:37I know you are, but what am I?
08:38That doesn't even make sense.
08:39I'll tell you what doesn't make sense.
08:41You pretending that Yadda really bid for you?
08:43No, you bidding on that muscly meathead.
08:45At least the muscly meathead got bids.
08:47Right, Kronk?
08:49Last time we come here, right, Yadda?
08:56Uh, what happened?
08:59Good evening, mademoiselle.
09:01May I recommend the mug o'meat?
09:03Which is extra meaty tonight.
09:05My, my. Quelle imperceive!
09:09Malina got dumpity dumped.
09:11So did you.
09:12Your fault.
09:13My fault?
09:14Uh, yeah. Kronk left because you weren't being honest about how you felt about me.
09:17But you're never honest with the way you feel about anyone.
09:20Huh?
09:21Too busy acting like the world's in love with you.
09:23You know, it makes it really hard when someone actually does like you.
09:26I can't believe I just said that.
09:28Did, did you just admit you like me?
09:30Don't make me answer that, Kuzco.
09:32Monsieur?
09:33Your pillbug tartare?
09:35Ugh, I can be honest about how I feel about that.
09:37Your puff boats, mademoiselle?
09:40I'm suddenly not hungry.
09:42Me neither.
09:43Then I will just leave you with the bills.
09:48200 Kuzcoins per puff boat?
09:50I can't pay for this.
09:52Yeah, I can't either.
09:53Not to mention the fact that Yadda still has my Kuz credit card.
09:55Oh, not to mention it's maxed out.
09:57Yeah, thanks.
09:58Of course, on the bright side.
10:00You finally got your dream date with yours truly.
10:03This is not a date.
10:10So, Kuzco, any last words?
10:13Yeah, why's the price tag still on the laser?
10:15I just picked it up this morning at E-smart.
10:17Good luck returning it now.
10:19Oh, they'll listen to me good when I'm finally Empress.
10:24Great, but you're not Empress yet.
10:25You still have to throw the switch.
10:27I'm just saying you should throw the switch, then celebrate.
10:31It's really more of a toggle, so you don't really throw it, you just flick it.
10:34Flick the toggle, clonk!
10:36Yes, Miss Not-Yet-Empress.
10:44I'm still here!
10:45That can't be right.
10:53Oh, that tickles.
10:54Does this thing even work?
10:55Oh yeah, I checked it earlier today.
10:57Place K in center of laser platform.
10:59Blast for one second.
11:08Uh-oh.
11:14Yeah, it works all right.
11:15Not exactly sure what it does, but it works.
11:18Well, then why didn't it...
11:26Sir, you took quite a shot.
11:28I hope the royal brain is okay.
11:30That's weird.
11:33X-ray vision?
11:34Kuzco!
11:36Whoa!
11:37Breaks through walls, X-ray vision, fire eyes...
11:40I'm Kuzco-Man!
11:43Now it's time for Kuzco's Doodles,
11:45the part of the show where I design my super snazzy Kuzco-Man suit.
11:48Let's see.
11:49Ooh, I should have a shark's fin.
11:50And big wings so I can fly.
11:51Moosh!
11:52Dive!
11:53He swims!
11:54He flies!
11:55Swims!
11:56Flies!
11:58But that fin sort of makes my head look big.
12:00And I'm a back sleeper, so those wings might be a problem.
12:03Ooh, maybe I'll just walk around with bags of money.
12:05That's a good look for me.
12:06I'll just pay the villains to go away.
12:08But I should add a cape,
12:12because that'll look cool when I fly.
12:14Perfect.
12:19Greetings, lunch people.
12:20I am Kuzco-Man.
12:23How about you be Fix-the-Wall-Man?
12:26Melina!
12:27Oh, what now?
12:28Kuzco-Man will save you!
12:30From what?
12:35That lunch was evil!
12:37And delicious.
12:38You're welcome.
12:39So, what's with the tiny cape?
12:41Isn't it cool?
12:42Yzma tried to destroy me, but now, instead, I'm super-powered.
12:45Kuzco-Man!
12:46Can I have an autograph?
12:48That's Kronk!
12:49Can I have an autograph?
12:51That's Kronk!
12:52Two K's.
12:53Two Kronk.
12:54You are not super like me.
12:56Kuzco-Man.
12:57That'll be one Kuzco-Wing.
13:00Wow.
13:01You're a real-life superhero, just like Pajama Llama.
13:04You get to fly around, help those in need,
13:06and be an inspiration to millions.
13:08Yeah, that sounds great.
13:10For someone else,
13:11because this super guy just wants to have fun.
13:20Hey, Kuzco-Man, can I get some help here?
13:23Cat busy.
13:29Mm-hmm, nice.
13:31What's your deal?
13:32I'm your super sidekick, Guaca-Waca!
13:35And your superpower is?
13:36My jokes are so corny, villains tremble.
13:39What do the big green cats say to the little yellow llama?
13:42Meow!
13:45Because he's a cat.
13:47Leave.
13:50Oh, yeah.
13:52This is why they invented X-ray vision.
13:55Are you using your superpowers to spy?
13:58Uh...
13:59Think, think, think!
14:00Got it!
14:01I was admiring the craftsmanship of the wall.
14:04It's so stony-ish.
14:06Not my best work.
14:08Whatever.
14:09But an easier way to spy on cheerleaders
14:11is to use the window two feet to your left.
14:14I'd rather use my superpowers to spy, thank you.
14:17Oh, yeah.
14:23Uh-uh, I work alone.
14:24But I'm Kuzco-Man's free and eternal sidekick, Guacamole!
14:28Oh, unfortunately, Kuzco-Man has a rodent allergy.
14:39Ugh, no more of this cafeteria junk.
14:41I'm up for Chinese.
14:47Mm, yummy, yummy, dim summy.
14:49Cavo a dim sum.
14:51Then cavo, cavo, fly, fly to China.
14:53Cavo, no fly.
14:54Then cavo, cavo, no, no dim sum.
14:56Feast your attention on me,
14:58the lizardly loyal sidekick of Kuzco-Man,
15:01Gecko Guaca!
15:02What's a gecko do?
15:04Stick to walls.
15:05Oh, really?
15:15Thought you could stick to walls.
15:16In spirit.
15:17Listen, Gecko Guaca Mole Guaca,
15:20me no needy sidekicky.
15:22I've got superpowers.
15:23Superpowers.
15:25That means I don't need anybody.
15:28How about Garbage Guaca
15:30with his grand ability to get stuck in a trash can?
15:33Kuzco, you know what?
15:35You're being a super...
15:36Me dumb dumb.
15:37I was gonna say jerk.
15:38You could go that route.
15:39I'm just saying.
15:40When you're super strong, you should help people.
15:42You shouldn't be such a...
15:43Me dumb dumb.
15:44I'm sorry, are you guys talking?
15:45I was using my super-ignoring powers.
15:47Listen here, Kuzco-Man.
15:49You have awesome powers,
15:51and awesome are our responsibilities.
15:53Pajama Llama would never use his powers to super-ignore.
15:56And that's because I'm...
15:57Better than Pajama Llama!
15:59That's what he said!
16:00Who cares?
16:01I've got a plan.
16:02First, use the superpower ray on some fresh vegetables.
16:06Step two, create a super salad.
16:09Number three, eat the super salad.
16:12And five, create a comic book about my super salad,
16:15turn it into a movie,
16:16and make millions!
16:18That seems logical.
16:19Especially when you number it like that.
16:21What took you so long to cook up that plan?
16:22I got hungry,
16:23so I went to Mudcut's for a meat mug with cheese.
16:25Oh, did you get the Gouda?
16:26Yes.
16:27And can you believe they charged me a dollar extra?
16:29I just started doing that.
16:30Oh, if only I had superpowers,
16:32I could really make a difference.
16:33Wait!
16:34I know.
16:35Flick the toggle, honk!
16:43Look at me, I'm ripped!
16:45How come you got muscles and Kuzco didn't?
16:47I cranked the ray up to medium.
16:49Wow.
16:50You look more like Pajama Llama than Kuzco does.
16:53Kuzco will suffer a fiery defeat at the hands of...
16:56Yzma the Terrible!
16:58No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:59Um...
17:00The Astonishing Yzma Man!
17:02No.
17:03Just doesn't feel...
17:05Yzma Woman!
17:07Oh, that's good enough for now.
17:12Ha, ha, ha!
17:14You dare charge Yzma Woman a dollar extra for cheese?
17:18Now you shall pay!
17:22Nobody messes with Mudkaz,
17:24so if you want a tango, lady, let's...
17:28Uh-oh.
17:36Ouch.
17:37What happened to you?
17:38My superpowers wore off,
17:39and now Yzma's got superpowers.
17:41Total copycat move, by the way.
17:42We have to stop her.
17:43I would, but...
17:44I don't like you right now.
17:46So, now that you're not a super show-off all of a sudden,
17:49now you want your friends?
17:50Maybe if you hadn't acted like such a jerk,
17:52we'd want to help you.
17:53Guaca, come on, I need you!
17:55Okay, sir.
17:57I'm waiting.
17:58What?
17:59I'm supposed to say I'm sorry?
18:01Yeah, but you're not.
18:03I guess I was being kind of a jerk,
18:05but I don't like to admit that kind of stuff, so...
18:08I'll just tell them I'll do whatever they say.
18:09I totally heard that.
18:10How'd you get in here?
18:11Will you promise to stop acting like a jerk?
18:13Uh... yes.
18:15Do you mean it?
18:19Cusco!
18:20Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
18:21I shouldn't have acted all jerk-ish-ly.
18:23Now, can we go back to the scene?
18:25Will you cover my shift at work?
18:26Yes, I will.
18:27Will you let me be your sidekick forever?
18:28Odd days, no leap years.
18:29But how can we protect you from Yzma if she's a super Yzma?
18:33It's like we need our own superpowers.
18:35Great idea, we'll say it was mine.
18:37It's the Cusconian Super Amigos!
18:39Starring Molina as Kinetic Girl.
18:42She tries to move objects with her mind.
18:44And Guaca as Swell Lad.
18:46He sort of inflates to ward off hoes.
18:49And Yara as Nighter.
18:51With above-average night vision,
18:53she can see pretty well in the dark.
18:55And finally, Cusco!
18:57Uh, where'd he go?
18:59Yzma-woman got him!
19:02Very clever, taking me during the fakie title sequence thing.
19:05And now I will destroy you!
19:09Ha! I knew if I stalled long enough, your powers would wear off.
19:12Doesn't matter that my friends don't have superpowers,
19:14we can still beat you.
19:15No superpowers?
19:17But they looked so convincing.
19:20Didn't they, though?
19:22Uh, when are we gonna...
19:27Nobody ordered a giant cactus.
19:29A box of scissors?
19:30Maybe next door.
19:32You're the hammock!
19:33Hammock? Yeah, that's me.
19:36Well, see ya.
19:37Not so fast, Cusco.
19:38One more blast from the superpower ray,
19:40and I'll crush you!
19:43Krunk, toggle me!
19:44No.
19:45What?
19:46This thing has cast too many problems, so...
19:53That was not cheap.
19:54It gave you both powers, but not integrity.
19:57Only one superhero lives up to that standard.
20:00Pajama Llama!
20:02Are we done here?
20:03Yeah, let's wrap this up.
20:04Yay! Iris, out!
20:09Hey, thanks for helping me out with the whole Cuscoman thing.
20:12Right back at ya for keeping your word.
20:13And taking my shifts.
20:14You know, this job is hard. I wanna stop.
20:17Dear Mudkus Meat Hut Corporation,
20:19we have been loyal customers for over two seasons now,
20:22and when you started charging extra for cheese on your meat mugs,
20:25I became outraged!
20:26Sincerely, future Empress Yzma.
20:29Oh, yeah.

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