CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP44
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:011, 2, 3, 4!
00:05Yeah!
00:09Alarm came a-rider!
00:16Hey, they're taking down poodle rapists on Japanese dateline tonight!
00:22Too slow!
00:24What are you watching?
00:26Well, Biker Bastard's on.
00:28Biker?
00:29Oh, yeah. It's the newest spin-off on the Bastard block.
00:32Shin never misses it.
00:34Hey, kids! It's time for your new favorite TV show!
00:40What's my new favorite show again?
00:41There, you see? The kids can't get enough of this stupid stuff.
00:44Whatever. I give.
00:47I'll just tape it and skip work tomorrow.
00:49Hold it!
00:50Hey, what do you think you're doing?
00:52I'm taping Biker for Shin.
00:54But what if we get a poodle someday? He could be raped, Mitzi. Raped!
00:58Why is this commercial taking so long?
01:00Buy Bastard Meat or they'll get canceled!
01:02Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right.
01:04We'll buy lots of Bastard Meat to support this quality show.
01:07Kids, how would you like to have meat for dinner every night?
01:10Hey, since when do you buy meat that's not in the clearance bin?
01:13What?
01:15Shut your cry-hole! It's about to start!
01:28Even our theme song is so...
01:33So you should watch this sweet-ass show.
01:36Especially the commercials.
01:43These stupid theme songs always get stuck in my head and I can't get them out.
01:49What's the point in watching a show if no one gets caught doing something?
01:53Are you sure Shin's into this crap?
01:55Hey, Shin, aren't you hungry? Maybe you should go help your mom make dinner.
01:58I bet she'll let you hold a dull knife.
02:01Look, gang, surprise knife!
02:03I wouldn't want you kids to have to get up and miss any of your favorite TV show.
02:07So we're having dessert for dinner.
02:09I give you three stars!
02:12That was not cool.
02:18I'm really beat. I'm going to bed.
02:20Night! I'll probably be up late, okay?
02:22So you definitely won't walk in for the next 20 minutes?
02:25Afraid not. I still have to straighten up my coupon books.
02:28Okay. Good night, then.
02:30Good night, sweetie.
02:38This is so dirty.
02:40I'll need a hot bath afterwards.
02:44Oh, biker, you're even hotter than the deflowerer in Younger 2.
02:47Oh, I love you. I love you.
02:50What's that, my family?
02:52They can't know!
02:54Huh? You're in love with a TV superhero?
02:57That's so laughably sad.
02:59Betty Blatches fetchibald!
03:01That is exactly what they'd say!
03:03I'd go to a hotel, but they only have DVD.
03:06Oh, biker, it won't be long.
03:09Lights, camera, action!
03:20Oh, yes! It's starting! It's starting!
03:31Leaky noodle.
03:37Skeeters, mount up and let's fly!
03:40You're angry, aren't you?
03:42I have an idea. Let's use our bikes.
03:45So tough, but pretty like a girl.
03:48Talk to me, biker bastard. Talk to me.
03:51Let's ride, and you don't need to work out anymore.
03:54Tell me more!
03:58You're hot, and you don't need bigger breasts at all.
04:02That's it.
04:04Keep riding, biker. Faster, faster.
04:07Let's run away to Madrid.
04:09Maybe take Hema, not Shin, though.
04:11We'll put him in boarding school.
04:13Hero Honey, come eat your breakfast.
04:16Let's go! Move!
04:20Man, I dreamt I was a bad salesman.
04:22Shin, it took me an hour last week to make this.
04:25Too tired.
04:27Huh?
04:28Huh? How come?
04:30I couldn't sleep one stink.
04:32Nightmares again?
04:33Uh-uh. Wasn't a dream.
04:35Something horrible was going on in the living room last night.
04:39Look at me. I'm Mitzi, and I'm in love with a TV guy.
04:42I watch kids' shows and kiss the screen dreaming about you, biker bastard.
04:46Let's run away together.
04:47Shut it, Shin! You were obviously having a delusion!
04:50Calm down. So you've got a tube crush.
04:52It's not like you think you could be with him.
04:54Uh, right, a tube crush.
04:56Nothing to be ashamed of.
05:00You sure? Your dancing was pretty painful.
05:02Wait, Shin, you saw your mom dance?
05:04People usually vomit when they see that.
05:07For real?
05:12You boys are right. Who am I kidding?
05:16It's just a silly crush.
05:18Starting today, I'll be a brand-new Mitzi.
05:20I won't do anything pathetic again.
05:34I must be dreaming!
05:35But what if I'm not?
05:37Holy crap, it's almost five o'clock right now!
05:42I can't let him see me like this. There we go.
05:44Okay, this is my one chance to impress him with my razor wit.
05:48But I've got a damn baby attached to my back!
05:55Oh, which one should I have him sign?
05:57Ooh, he's gonna be in the Tokyo production of Equus.
06:01Hey!
06:03What are you doing here?
06:08Oh, Penny loves this show, and I was hoping to disappear in the crowd.
06:11Yeah, Shin enjoys this show too.
06:14It's this biker bastard character. I think Penny has a crush on him.
06:17Shin also. He adores that man.
06:20He dreams about being held tight in his arms and slapped around a little, but not hard.
06:24Yeah, and if he did slap, it would be out of love,
06:26and not because it's the only way he can get it up, you know?
06:29Well, as long as he can get it up, I don't really care how he does it.
06:32I didn't know we—they had so much in common!
06:35Maybe tomorrow we can come over and have a viewing party!
06:38In slow-mo!
06:40Great idea!
06:43I could use a wet wipe.
06:44Yeah, me too.
06:47Five minutes to the signing! Cheap purchases only get a handshake!
06:55So, don't tell Hiro.
06:57Sure.
06:58Very bad to tell husband.
06:59Yeah.
07:00Yeah, Hiro gets so pouty when he's jealous.
07:02Yes, my husband would pouch, not set my hair on fire.
07:06Oh, let me see your shoes!
07:08Yes!
07:10Oh, Halloween!
07:11Yes, please!
07:13Thanks for coming.
07:14Oh, you have a kid.
07:15Sorry I grabbed your mom's ass before.
07:20Hey, thanks for coming out today.
07:22How old are you, little girl? About eight or something?
07:25That's just dandy.
07:28Bring her back in five years.
07:29I'm next!
07:30Thanks for coming out today, Miss—
07:32What the—
07:33Take me.
07:47Sleepin' it real!
07:51A sleepover. This should be fun.
07:55We're here!
07:58Hey, Shin.
08:00You!
08:01I'm sorry.
08:02You!
08:03I'm sorry we're so late.
08:05Would've been here on time if somebody would join the trendy first century and start driving a car.
08:10Like 20 minutes of daily biking will grow your boobs.
08:14Please, we're only late because it took so long to get all those frog guts out of your hair.
08:18Oh, Miss Anderson, now you see what kind of an ogre mom really is.
08:22And I never did anything wrong except blow up the house.
08:25You smell like butter.
08:26You can pick him up in the morning.
08:28With any luck, I'll still be alive.
08:30You don't have to be afraid to slap him.
08:33Hey, uh...
08:34Hey, I kinda like your chest.
08:35Can I just cling here tonight, baby?
08:37No.
08:38Just get inside with the other children.
08:39Okay.
08:46Miss Ai wanted us to be arrogantly late.
08:48As always.
08:49And she was at Erskine.
08:50Glad she made it.
08:51Now everyone's here.
08:52Sorry, Miss Ai.
08:53The trumpeters are stuck in traffic.
08:58Greetings, peasant.
08:59Hello, Ai.
09:11Wow, Ai, you must be hungry.
09:13Yes, this gruel is really putting the slum in slumber party.
09:16Let's wash it down with ghetto punch.
09:18I guess fancy feast isn't fancy enough for some people.
09:21So if you ate this, then threw it up, would it come out looking like real food?
09:25Who dares me to try?
09:27Every time a shin speaks, an angel gets its period.
09:30It's going to be a long night.
09:35You look really tired, Miss Anderson.
09:36Yes, I am tired.
09:39Must be hard to get any sleep after playing with Doyle.
09:42That salty taste in your mouth from eating his popcorn.
09:47Ever since Doyle convinced me to invest all my money in genetically pre-buttered popcorn kernels,
09:52I've had to work weeknights, too.
09:54It seemed like such a sweet deal.
09:56You sure it's not Doyle's wiener habits that keep you awake?
10:00You idiot! You can't ask that!
10:02He might wonder the night peeing in gas stations,
10:04and then call Miss A to brag about what he's doing.
10:07Listen, baby, I'm trying to see how many times I can start and stop during one whiz.
10:12Fifty-six!
10:13He doesn't do that anymore.
10:17Okay, kids, now how do we celebrate bedtime?
10:20Jackets!
10:23Oh, Georgie.
10:25Let's play Snuggle Pirate.
10:28I don't know what that is, but there is absolutely no way I'm playing it with you.
10:35No means no, Shin.
10:39No as in yes?
10:41No as in back off!
10:42Don't make this hard, Georgie-poo!
10:44I won't sleep with you tonight!
10:46Quit yelling, Georgie. It's bedtime.
10:50Shhh...
10:53Prepare to be boarded, Snuggle Pirate Shin.
10:56No way, bitch. Shin's supposed to demoralize me tonight by proposing a three-way.
11:00Can it, Welfare. I was here first.
11:02And I got here second, which is how long I'm giving you to get lost.
11:05Look, I'm obscenely wealthy. I could hire some junkie to make you go away.
11:10I'm sleeping by eye!
11:14Scram! The boys are with me.
11:17Only one way to settle this.
11:22Impressions of Drew Barrymore, go!
11:24Before she quits drinking!
11:32Fine, I'll settle on Georgie, then.
11:34What's that supposed to mean?
11:36Must be the one-nut thing.
11:38All right, asshats, whose hair are we gonna braid?
11:40Who'd braid my ass hair?
11:42We don't have any. We've all seen your rump enough to know that.
11:44Don't leave me.
11:46I'm afraid of the nightlight. Please, it can't be trusted.
11:51Okay, lights out.
11:55It's a man!
11:56What? There's a prowler? I didn't schedule a rape roleplay tonight!
12:03That's my face.
12:07Is that you, Mr. K?
12:17Well, sorry about your face there, yeah.
12:19I'll just go now.
12:21Sorry, ladies. Just patrolling. Wasn't planning to watch you undress.
12:36What do you want?
12:38Hey, Georgie, what do you say we Dutch Evan Penny right now? Double gas.
12:42That's disgusting.
12:44In what way?
12:45Take your grubby little finger out of my ear and let me sleep.
12:48What if I said there was glue involved?
12:50You think I'd sleep next to you without searching your stuff for glue or flammables?
12:54Okay, fine.
13:10Dammit, I can feel him!
13:12Pretend he doesn't exist, Georgie, like you do with sidewalk bumps.
13:15Ah, espresso smells like dinner.
13:18Did you just crap?
13:20You keep breathing on me.
13:22Now, I don't support any global warming measures that don't involve good corn subsidies,
13:25but my face could use less carbon, so stop exhaling!
13:28Good challenge.
13:45Stop inhaling! Stop everything! Just stop!
13:59Georgie! Pipe down!
14:03Yes, ma'am.
14:16Mr. K, I'm really sorry about whacking your face.
14:20Oh, I liked it. By the way, those are really amazing slacks.
14:24The white really shows panty lines. That's why I never wear any.
14:28Well, it's my job to know things, ma'am. Like your situation with Ench.
14:32It's a shame you're being with a man who can't take the heat.
14:36You know, I've been trained to withstand all sorts of torture.
14:39I've got a thigh harness.
14:40I've got lube and a 9-iron.
14:46What's that?
14:56Oh, yes!
14:58Holly wants a pecker!
15:00Copy that.
15:04Yo! Here's more show!
15:09Anything you kendo, I kendo better!
15:13This kendo teacher, Kent, has posted these flyers all over the neighborhood.
15:17He's offering free lessons to any 5-year-old boy who shakes his ass named Dildor.
15:21Shin's 2 out of 3.
15:23Sure is. Mm-hmm.
15:24And here I was just yesterday, worrying my boy would never pick up a sport.
15:28Convenient, huh?
15:30So, kendo's a sport?
15:32It's like fencing, but not stupid.
15:34Your father was on the kendo team in high school.
15:37Like all martial arts, it's only for self-defense.
15:40But if some bastard comes at you, it's okay to take the bum out.
15:46No! Redemption, bastard!
15:48Time to take the bum out!
15:50Get back, you bastard, before I unleash my martial arts!
15:52I asked for that.
15:54Guess Hima's still my best bet for having a jock in the house.
15:56Don't crush Shin's lifelong dream.
15:58Sure, he just heard about it.
16:00But he's a child, and nobody remembers their first four and a half years anyway.
16:03So, as far as he's concerned, two days is a pretty hefty chunk of his life!
16:09Did you tell him the best part?
16:11How the ad promised fame and fortune?
16:13Oh.
16:14What were you saying?
16:16Uh-huh.
16:17I believe the poster's exact words were,
16:19the chosen boy will be rewarded with riches and glory,
16:21and his name shall be proclaimed throughout the universe.
16:23Isn't that fabulous?
16:25Uh, I guess.
16:26I've come to accept that you'll never make me rich,
16:28but Shin just may be the meal ticket.
16:31Well, that stings.
16:32I knew those nine months of torture and stretch marks would pay off.
16:35He'll get magazine covers, endorsement deals, cereal boxes.
16:38As long as he doesn't screw it up by taking steroids,
16:40allegedly killing Zex White, or getting into dogfighting,
16:43we'll have it made!
16:44He'll be the third most popular Asian sports figure
16:46after Yao Ming and half of Tiger Woods.
16:49Shin'll be an instant media darling, like Bindi Irwin.
16:52Is it true you're feuding with Lindsay Lohan?
16:54No, of course there's no truth to that.
16:56Unless feuding means making out, then yeah, we're feuding.
16:59What about Perez Hilton's poorly worded claim that you've got butt cheek implants?
17:03This is 100% natural.
17:05Check it out, you can't get wiggle like that from silicone cheeks.
17:08Hey, quit hijacking my fantasy sequence and get your own.
17:13Anyway, Shin's loving mother.
17:14His fame will rub off on me and I'll become a celebri-mom in my own right.
17:17Who knows?
17:18I could write a book on parenting like Lynne Spears
17:20before her other daughter went nuts.
17:22My advice can't be worse than hers.
17:24If I'm gonna be a tabloid star, you gotta buy me some new undies.
17:27Why? The paparazzi won't see your underwear
17:29because you'll be wearing clothes.
17:30You got pics of Britney wearing those droopy flesh-colored ones?
17:33I don't think those are undies.
17:34Shut up, both of you!
17:39Kendo is not about cereal boxes, book deals, or undies.
17:42Kendo brings the mind and body together in perfect harmony.
17:45But fame and celebrity nether regions only serve to cloud the mind while polluting the body.
17:49To master the way of the sword, one must possess sharply defined muscles and even sharper wits.
17:55Oh, so is that why you don't do Kendo anymore?
17:58I was sidelined by a serious injury and had to accept the burn of defeat.
18:02Uh, you burned your feet?
18:07Yeah, that's not what I meant.
18:09Your father quit Kendo after two days
18:11because he got a splinter in his pinky from the sword.
18:13So?
18:14Splinters are a silent killer and the second leading cause of death among adolescent boys.
18:18You think I wanted to quit? No, but the school nurse made me.
18:21Still, I remember some things from my two days on the squad.
18:24I could give Shin some pointers.
18:26Okay.
18:27Shin, humor your father.
18:29How he doesn't get my poop jokes.
18:31Take a deep breath. It's the first step to a sound mind and body.
18:37Hey, don't mind my body. I was just making a sound.
18:41Relax and let your shoulders drop.
18:45Don't drop them to the floor.
18:48Use both hands and grip your sword like this.
18:52Like this?
18:54No, that's all wrong. Hold it like this.
18:56You think you know Kendo better than me?
19:05Deep in the valley of the crescent of the desert
19:08of the sparrow of the goddess of the moon of the crystal skull
19:12two golden crispy warriors prepare to anticipate.
19:17Fight! Fight!
19:19Sword of the darkness!
19:21I will soon feel my most honorable killing of you!
19:26No!
19:27Behold the incredibleness of my self-gratifying lucky technique!
19:31Hold!
19:45What? You have brought great shame to my ponytail!
19:51Stop that!
20:02Your self-gratifying monkey is no match for my wire fu.
20:05Prepare to be unprepared for it.
20:11I must conceive of a way to distract him from his zen-like focus.
20:16Alba.
20:18Aha! I have got an idea!
20:22My menstruation has not arrived on schedule this month
20:24suggesting that it is possible that I am with child again.
20:28Oh no!
20:29Ha ha ha ha! I tricked you! I am not the least bit pregnant!
20:33What? Oh, you could have fooled me and you did!
20:38What is the meaning of those words you have just spoken?
20:40I was only implying that you have gotten quite fat.
20:44I will destroy you like stale pudding!
20:46I would not appreciate that!
20:52This is a battle worthy of my haughty approbation!
20:58He is a difficult opponent to vanquish. I must visualize my motivation.
21:04Acknowledge defeat!
21:08Nothing I love more than slashing prizes on ridiculously cute purses!
21:12Nyahaha!
21:15My sons never showed up for their birthday
21:17so I thought Shin might like to open their present.
21:20I caught you at a bad time.
21:22I'll just leave this here and go. Please don't hit me.
21:24It's not what it looks like. He had a fly on his forehead.
21:28Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anyone what I saw.
21:31Your secret's safe.
21:33Blogging's not telling, is it?
21:38We have to move.
21:40Or you could go over there and tender her ass.
21:42True.
21:46Yo!
21:47Time to go!
21:54Woke up late this morning. A storm was really rolling.
21:57Frogs and dogs were raining from the sky.
22:00Everything seems awkward to me. Nothing's just as it should be.
22:03If this keeps on I'm sure I won't get by.
22:07But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
22:10I know things are bad and getting worse.
22:13But after all this I can rest awhile.
22:16And then I'll party, party.
22:19Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:24Shake your day away and you can party, party.
22:26Join us, join us.
22:30Shake your blues away!
22:34Party, party, join us, join us, Party, party, join us, join us,
22:54Party, party, join us, join us, Party, party, join us, join us,
23:02Party!
23:05Party, party!