CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP58
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:001, 2, 3, ha!
00:04Choo-choo!
00:08All the food that's fit to print.
00:13Guess what, kids? One of you is in the town newspaper today.
00:18How could any of us get that small?
00:21There's not an actual person in the paper. It's just a story about them.
00:25If it's not about me, it's probably not very interesting.
00:28Just sit there and pretend to pay attention while I read this for the good kids, okay?
00:32Guess it'll be a good time to catch up on my Z's.
00:35Fine, but no sleep farting!
00:37Now look, class, it's a puff piece about our very own Boo.
00:45Okay, settle down.
00:46Now who wants to guess why Boo is featured in the newspaper?
00:49Me!
00:50Me!
00:51He's a boobie!
00:53Wrong!
00:54But he looks so different in real life.
00:56Don't be dumb.
00:59It's Boo and Phillip!
01:01But if you're the bug, then who's he?
01:03It is Boo.
01:04The paper recognized him for his Rights for Rocks campaign.
01:07Wow!
01:09How nice for the paper to discover our very own special needs child and exploit him for laughs, huh?
01:14Yeah, and they mention me right here as his favorite teacher.
01:19You know, I was in the newspaper once, but only because I was stalking Tony Danza.
01:23I wonder if it's okay to attach this article to my resume when I go looking for a better and higher paying job.
01:29You realize you haven't had a child past kindergarten in nearly three years, don't you?
01:33We've had complications.
01:35Yeah, and group sex.
01:37Maybe you'd get mentioned too if you'd even been inside your classroom in the last three years.
01:41I'm teaching self-reliance.
01:43Ladies, let's not start this again. It's Boo's moment to shine, okay?
01:49Boo's and mine, that is true.
01:51Boo!
01:55Those star-humpers!
01:57He does have a certain salt of the earth appeal.
01:59I'm so proud of him.
02:01I think it's safe to assume Boo won't be joining us for Sec-U-Tag today.
02:05Can I touch you?
02:06Don't touch him!
02:10Give Boo some space, you blood-sucking parasites, and let him be with his real friends who are ten times awesomer than you'll ever be.
02:18If you want to meet a celebrity, you have to wait in line.
02:21Don't you people ever watch entertainment tonight?
02:23Help me out, you guys!
02:26You'll all have your chance to touch him.
02:28What are you doing, Shin?
02:30Don't you want to find out why they're all waiting in line?
02:33I sure do.
02:34You are a moron.
02:36I forgot how to let go.
02:39No, Dazzling, go on. Okay, next.
02:42Girl.
02:44Girl.
02:46I never knew Boo had such a macho handshake.
02:52Super Happy Fun Time American School.
02:55What? The child with the snot?
02:57Yes, he's a student of mine.
02:59Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
03:01You want to put Boo on TV?
03:07Of course you can come tomorrow.
03:09Will you interview his favorite teacher, too?
03:11No way!
03:14Okay, this game is called Third World Sweatshop.
03:17I play the factory boss, and you're my underage workers
03:20who make cheap goods for mere pennies,
03:22which will sell at a huge profit once Boo is famous tomorrow.
03:25You guys got it?
03:26Do we get snack breaks?
03:27I will whip you!
03:30Fifteen blistered fingers later.
03:36Look, it's Shin School on TV.
03:39Here's a story about a young boy.
03:42That was an amazing lead-in, Toro.
03:44I'm just going to move over here now
03:46because it really makes me look like I know what I'm doing.
03:49They look so relatively clean today.
03:52And here's the remarkably rotund face
03:54behind the Rights for Rocks movement.
03:56What's your name?
04:01Poor Boo, he looks so nervous.
04:04I really don't like kids.
04:06Is that Shin?
04:07Oh my God, what's he doing?
04:10An ass dance? On TV?
04:13I understand you've got a very special friend.
04:20Hey! Back off, lady! You're freaking him out!
04:24We'd edit that out if we weren't broadcasting live.
04:26Is it true that you always carry your pet rock around with you everywhere you go?
04:31Today he's going to prove that rocks are people too.
04:34Now let us see that special rock.
04:37I lost him.
04:41Oh, if that isn't just adorable.
04:45I could really use a drink.
04:47I thought we could fill some air time with the rock,
04:49but I guess I'll have to interview someone.
04:51These are the teachers who encouraged and helped a very impressionable boy
04:54to start a campaign demanding equal rights for rocks.
04:57So, uh, tell me, why did you do such a thing?
05:00I've seen this guy naked.
05:03Ah! Stay away! Get away!
05:07I sure hope you're telling the truth,
05:09because I'm going to run with this without checking any of the facts first.
05:12We've just received shocking reports of an elementary school principal
05:15showing a young boy his wedding tackle.
05:17This is the rock kid's teacher.
05:19Uh-huh, that's me.
05:21We like kindergarten so much, we're back for thirds.
05:26As you can clearly see, there's nothing more fertile than the young imagination,
05:29and I love doing what I can to help shape them.
05:32I hope there's lots of single beefcakes
05:34watching the mid-afternoon cable access news.
05:37I'm not sure you got enough makeup there to mask your extreme desperation.
05:41Be quiet!
05:42Ooh, I get it.
05:44You're trying to not look like an old wrinkly sack on TV.
05:47Hey, Cats, maybe you could take a few questions.
05:49This chick is grilling me over here.
05:51Hello, I'm Ms. Cats. I'm fun and single.
05:54My hobbies include long walks on the beach and playing online poker.
05:57Enough about you. This is not a reality dating show.
06:01Sometimes I wonder what I could have done in a previous life
06:04to deserve the torture of this one.
06:06Was it lots of sex? Kinky, kinky sex?
06:08Whatever.
06:12I guess this would be a good time to interview some of the cute children here.
06:16Hello, girl. I understand you're friends with that kid with the rock?
06:19You bet I am.
06:21In fact, I've designed a whole line of Boo merchandise.
06:24Hats, T-shirts, statues,
06:26and we're even in talks with TLC to do a reality show.
06:29Don't forget your booger eggs.
06:31Who said you were allowed to speak?
06:36I get the feeling this is going to be on YouTube tomorrow.
06:39We've got to stop them.
06:41Your class, your problem.
06:43I'm not going into that ruckus and messing up my hair.
06:45Oh, that's rich. It's not your real hair anyway.
06:47Just cheap extensions.
06:49What?
06:50Yeah, you got anything else that's fake you want to tell us about?
06:52Oh, that's a good one. We both know you're the one...
06:54It's time for a break now.
06:57No!
06:59You can transfer that to Baghdad.
07:02Where the hell did the crew go?
07:05Someone get me out of here!
07:13Oh, there you are, Phillip.
07:18I need a vacation.
07:22I cannot self-terminate.
07:27Have a nice swim, Phillip.
07:34Here's more!
07:44Who's calling during dinner?
07:47Wow, 6 p.m. on a Saturday.
07:50That's my best booze blackout yet.
07:52Hiro, it's Yosharin! He's dead!
07:57Do you have any idea how long I've waited for this?
07:59Try not to look so happy.
08:03Michi!
08:04He's gone! My manly adult Yosharin is dead!
08:07I want my happy juice and I want my graham crackies!
08:11The man I married is metaphorically dead.
08:13We thought you meant dead-dead.
08:17Yoshi, snap out of it. We're done role-playing.
08:19That's good enough. I'll take the slapping from here.
08:22You are not slapping him.
08:24I'm scared! The older boy is mean!
08:26There, there, baby.
08:27No offense, but I'm going back to bed.
08:30Oh, nanny, please punish me with the squash and cucumber.
08:33Enjoy!
08:35It's not what you think, Shin.
08:36You can't keep living some fantasy.
08:38It's not a fantasy. It's my life. I'm your bad little baby.
08:41Now, please, punish me in whatever way you see fit.
08:44I just don't want to be a grown-up anymore.
08:51Don't cry, son. It upsets the other wage slaves.
08:53It's just that I need my nanny.
08:55She tells me what to do, even when I'm allowed to make cock-a-doo-doo.
08:59Nanny, help! Oh, nanny!
09:01Honey peachy, I've been a bad baby.
09:02I never should have come to work without your permission.
09:05Take me home and punish my bum-bum with the cucumber.
09:07Punish my bum-bum with the cucumber!
09:09Oh, nanny, please!
09:10Stop crying!
09:12You guys are just role-playing?
09:14Man-baby role-playing, to be exact.
09:16I'm her baby submissive.
09:18That's enough. There's a kid standing here.
09:20This all started last week when I acted like a baby
09:22to cheer Michi up about being barren.
09:24And it was so sweet until she changed my diaper
09:26and I got excited and we started fooling around
09:28and we kept role-playing all weekend and now I can't stop it.
09:30Stop it. I order you not to talk about last weekend.
09:33Yeah, shut up. Our kid is right here, jerk.
09:36Honey, that was just a game we played.
09:38Like when I'm the transgender serial killer
09:40and you're the cheerleader with the long flowing hair.
09:42Sure, it's fun, but you can't act it out all the time.
09:44Michi?
09:46Oh, nanny, I want to be your baby boy. Mother me now.
09:49Stop. I've had enough.
09:51We can't have neighbors who act this twisted.
09:53What? You'd never move.
09:55We wouldn't be the ones moving, you shirt-matching freaks.
09:58Do what you want at home.
10:00Just don't involve my children or even worse, me.
10:02We'll keep it down, but I can't promise
10:04you won't hear anything when Michi paddles me.
10:06He likes spanking.
10:08You are a grown man.
10:10Yeah, but not when I'm role-playing, you silly.
10:12I should make sure to remember this always.
10:14Stop listening, Shin.
10:16Fine, be a little kid, get fired, lose your house.
10:18I want to see you move out.
10:20The Batman is yelling at me.
10:22I must have done something wrong.
10:24Please punish me, nanny.
10:29But Hiro makes a good point.
10:31If I keep play-acting, I'll lose my job
10:33and be unable to buy any more tentacle hentai.
10:35You shouldn't work just to afford hentai.
10:37Well, not that particular kind of hentai, at least.
10:39Something more normal, please.
10:41What if I just buy the toys and adult diapers
10:43needed for light weekend baby play?
10:45Now stop yelling at me. You're hurting my dum-dum.
10:47Poor baby.
10:53Don't get involved.
10:55Punish me.
10:57Look, Yoshirn, I've seen firsthand
10:59how these adult hobbies can turn into debilitating addictions.
11:01We might be able to help you.
11:03What do you have in mind?
11:05To break you out of this fantasy,
11:07you could spend more time away from Michi.
11:09My nanny.
11:11He'll die.
11:13Sounds good to me.
11:15To break you out of your system,
11:17we'll begin our first lesson in being a man.
11:19When we're done, can I have the cucumber back?
11:21No, you can't, pervert.
11:23If Dad's calling you a pervert, you know you got a problem.
11:25Think, Hiro.
11:27What did they tell you to do if he stops listening to you?
11:29So if he won't snap out of his weird baby act,
11:31just let him sit in his dirty diaper?
11:33Really let him stew.
11:35Did you hear that, Hiro?
11:37If Yoshirn won't stop with his baby role-playing,
11:39let him sit in his filth until his behavior improves.
11:41Well, good luck and have fun while we're gone, you guys.
11:43Crap.
11:45I hope he doesn't use the diaper right now.
11:47Here are the cards for the first man lesson, Dad.
11:49Yoshirin, are you ready to return to manhood yet?
11:51Yeah, sure.
11:53Just let me call my nanny first, though.
11:55What's the game, Dad?
11:57Uh, I was thinking about poker.
11:59That's a really manly card game.
12:01Spank me! Spank me!
12:03Spank me!
12:05Wait. You took my nanny's cell phone!
12:07Hiro, if you hurt Michi,
12:09I'm gonna kick your tush!
12:11It was your idea to give me her phone
12:13so that she can learn to be away from you.
12:15Now you have to be a man and learn to be away from her.
12:17You got it?
12:19But I'm not a man! I'm a baby who takes orders
12:21from a beautiful nanny who washes me and clothes me
12:23and tells me where she wants me to put my earrings!
12:25Knock off the weird crap, Yoshirin.
12:27The game is no limit, Holdem!
12:29Don't play the card. Play the man.
12:31Yoshirin seems pretty calm now.
12:33I went toity in my diaper.
12:37You know, this isn't anything like Holdem.
12:39In fact, I don't know what this is.
12:41Hit me. Go fish. Checkmate.
12:43Do not pass go. What's the bet at now?
12:45Five bucks.
12:47I'm not sure if I get the rules,
12:49but this is helping me forget about my baby life.
12:51If only nanny Michi could see me now.
12:53Acting just like a grown man.
12:55But I miss her. I must serve her.
12:57What's in your hand?
12:59Give it to me!
13:01My nanny!
13:03Stop acting like a damn baby.
13:05You don't need her to tell you what to do.
13:07I hope his balls drop.
13:11Yeah, I feel pretty mannish already.
13:13Weighing in at 200 pounds,
13:15his hobbies include punching, killing,
13:17and baby role play.
13:19Oh, nanny, I'm a bad baby.
13:21I'm so sorry. Let me shave you.
13:25Let this be a lesson to never get trapped
13:27in a fetish fantasy world.
13:29Good tip, Dad.
13:31Look, a real baby for once.
13:33What's she doing?
13:35I don't know.
13:37I miss my nanny, too.
13:39Have fun, kids. We'll be over here
13:41doing manly stuff.
13:43This'll show him how non-baby-like he is
13:45compared to her.
13:47Hello, Hima.
13:49Your Uncle Yoshirin had a complete psychotic breakdown.
13:53Oh, nanny!
13:55Now what happened?
13:57Only nanny is allowed to punish me.
13:59She's gonna be so mad when she hears what Hima did.
14:01I'm gonna get the belt, the candle wax, the enema.
14:03Oh, nanny!
14:05Hiro, I need help.
14:07The abuse is too much.
14:09The spanking, the tickling, the onesie-wearing.
14:11I don't wanna be a baby boy.
14:13Yoshirin.
14:17I think you just had a real breakthrough.
14:19If you stop acting like a little dirty baby,
14:21then Michi will stop treating you like one.
14:23Then you'll be back to being a man
14:25in no time at all.
14:27Are you sure?
14:29Yeah, I really know.
14:31We're back!
14:33Yoshirin!
14:35I'm cured!
14:37Michi!
14:39Yoshirin!
14:41I'm a man again!
14:43Great!
14:45We're running out of adult diapers!
14:49And what do you want?
14:51I never get to slap you, Yoshi.
14:53No slapping, Shin.
14:55Bippo-crete.
14:57Yay, Titanic spin!
14:59Well, Hiro, I don't know how you did it,
15:01but considering you once had a dream
15:03about throwing Yoshirin through a plate glass window,
15:05I'd say this is progress.
15:07Plus, I'm happy not to spend any more time with Michi.
15:09She tries on underwear at the store
15:11and then puts it right back on the rack.
15:13They really are two horrible parasites.
15:15But they do keep their love life fresh.
15:17Maybe we could learn from them.
15:19I'm not baby role-playing with you.
15:21Well, yeah.
15:23I was thinking of something more mainstream,
15:25like maybe next time we're in bed,
15:27I'll go to Ross' costume.
15:29Guys, guys!
15:31Check out the new shirt Michi got me.
15:33It's a real man's shirt.
15:35Yeah, real men wear lime green.
15:37Give me ten bucks and I'll go to Ross
15:39and get one for Hiro, too.
15:41It's his gift for fixing Yoshirin.
15:43Michi, that's fine, really.
15:45Well, it's getting kind of late
15:47and I haven't fed the kids yet, so...
15:49I know how we can honor the Noharas
15:51for saving our relationship
15:53from an addiction to bad baby role-playing.
15:55No, you won't!
15:57Resist urge to snap!
16:01Paintballs of Fire
16:05Please welcome Penny, Winnipeg!
16:07Oh, can I die?
16:092, 4, 6, 8, eliminate!
16:112, 4, 6, 8, eliminate!
16:132, 4, 6, 8, eliminate!
16:152, 4, 6...
16:19Hello, human.
16:21You have nice bone structure.
16:23Mmm. I'll spare you
16:25from my fist.
16:27For now, you will live.
16:29He's so dominant.
16:31Goodbye, girl.
16:33Soon all of this will be burned.
16:35Remain pure if you want to survive.
16:37Now back to my training.
16:39Elimination Day!
16:41I thought he liked me.
16:43I am the Flamer!
16:45And now I must make my perfect body
16:47even more perfect if I am to genocide
16:49all subhuman undesirables and bring about
16:51a new day.
16:53I am the Flamer, first of a new race,
16:55homo superior.
16:57And with my cleansing flame,
16:59I will rid the earth of its parasites,
17:01weak, crippled, or impure creatures
17:03like old men, old women, and bachelors.
17:05Oh, wow. This park is full of subhumans.
17:07Guess I'll have to beat them all to death.
17:11Flame!
17:13And to think I owe my special powers
17:15all to a mysterious gas leaking from
17:17underneath that elementary school.
17:19This playground was the best decision I ever made!
17:21Eliminate
17:23sub
17:25humans!
17:27Eliminate
17:29sub humans!
17:31I got it! Nice throw, Shin!
17:33What is this?
17:35Try to catch this one, Shin!
17:37Is he special retarded
17:39or special superhuman like me?
17:41Shin, quit going like a girl!
17:43Hey, boy. What are you doing?
17:45Playing invisible baseball with myself.
17:47No, it can't be.
17:49There is another homo superior.
17:51He controls invisible objects
17:53at super speed.
17:55It's an ability far superior to my own skill with fire.
17:57Compared to him,
17:59I am the subhuman.
18:01I think I found the ball.
18:03So does this mean
18:05if he sees my meager superpower,
18:07he'll mark me for elimination.
18:09But I'm just so perfect.
18:11I was making the world pure.
18:13I don't want to be eliminated.
18:15You can't betray me like this.
18:17After all I did for it.
18:19Killing the disabled.
18:21Torturing the botanical gardens.
18:23The stents and the grass. It's a grass dance.
18:25Even his ass is more perfect than mine.
18:27Well, I'm not going to sit here like a mongrel
18:29gypsy and wait for him to genocide me.
18:31I must find a way to turn the tables
18:33and get his powers.
18:35I know. I'll exploit his youth in need for friends.
18:37And once his powers are mine,
18:39we will form a team with me
18:41as its Darwin chosen leader.
18:43What a nut job.
18:45Say that, boy.
18:47What do you want?
18:49Friendship? Your powers?
18:51Let's hang out.
18:53I kind of already filled my quota of loser friends.
18:55Loser?
18:57I mean, you're right.
18:59You're clearly a superior being,
19:01so I won't be your friend, but your servant.
19:03Fine then.
19:05As your master, I order you to go away.
19:07Let me try this again.
19:09Although I am weak, I have experience.
19:11I can help guide you.
19:13Help you to harness your speed and invisible powers.
19:15Then maybe you can teach me said skills.
19:19This guy thinks I was serious
19:21about playing invisible ball with myself.
19:23I really hope this arc doesn't go as long as the Kenta one.
19:25Then again, I bet I can lead him on
19:27and have some fun.
19:29Time to take advantage of a psycho.
19:31Come on, kid. Fall for it.
19:33How should I begin messing with him?
19:35New nut, let's play super speed invisible.
19:37Yes, sir.
19:39Let's use these stretches to warm up
19:41and look for people we can run through and kill
19:43with our kinetic energy.
19:45We're just going to bounce the ball.
19:47Patience. If he doesn't want to kill people just yet,
19:49you can't force him.
19:51Besides, looking needy gives him reason to mark you as an undesirable.
19:53Yes, sir.
19:55Crap.
19:57He has crazy eyes.
19:59Must kill the impure.
20:01I can sense the ball.
20:05Too perfect?
20:07Come on, I got the moves. Admit it.
20:09New nut, I had the invisible
20:11the entire time.
20:13My bad.
20:15Again.
20:17And you wanted to be my wise old servant.
20:19Homo superior, your skills are far beyond mine.
20:23Got it.
20:25I'll kick it like it's a preemie.
20:27The ball's right in front of you.
20:31I've decided to keep your ass visible.
20:33Sweet.
20:35Where'd you put this ball again?
20:37Right there.
20:39Okay, the ball was on your left.
20:41You just kicked a dumpster.
20:43That had spikes on it.
20:47And you kicked it with your other left foot.
20:53Here comes perfection.
20:55Yeah, sure.
20:57Wait, stop!
20:59What now?
21:01I hope he's not dead.
21:03Please be okay.
21:05You broken skull, new nut.
21:07The ball's skull?
21:09No, the invisible dog's skull.
21:11A dog? No!
21:13Yeah, wanna see?
21:15I can't believe I killed a dog. I'm a monster.
21:17Maybe he's not so dead.
21:21A monster!
21:23You're not a monster, you're new nut.
21:25Besides, he shook it off. He's fine.
21:27The dog's fine?
21:29Bye, invisible whitey.
21:31It'll take years of evolution
21:33to catch this kid.
21:35He's interacting with an entire invisible realm
21:37at super speed while I'm lucky not to kill a dog.
21:39But wait!
21:41The dog is still alive!
21:43I must be gaining some control over the invisible.
21:45Do you think I can make myself invisible?
21:49I hope so. It'll make beatings easier.
21:53I'm going home, new nut.
21:55What?
21:57We haven't killed together yet.
21:59The semi-invisible will risk what just spoken.
22:01You can communicate with objects, too?
22:03Semi-invisible objects?
22:05Oh, I thought I had this all figured out.
22:07New nut, it just didn't work out for us.
22:09Go ahead.
22:11I am weak. You must eliminate my genes.
22:13Take off your own pants.
22:15You lack the nerve.
22:17That means you're weaker,
22:19which puts me in charge of our elimination team.
22:23Eliminate!
22:25Okay, that's real fire.
22:27Purify?
22:29I've never met a real mutant.
22:31Maybe I should make him scared of me again
22:33before he snaps and burns me to death.
22:35Yeah, that's a good plan.
22:37Flamer!
22:39What?
22:41Come over here.
22:43I don't take orders. I give them!
22:45No, you don't, because you can't make invisible clone armies.
22:47Armies to hunt you!
22:49He's bested me yet again!
22:51This kid truly is homo superior
22:53while I'm just a weakling!
22:57So always watch your back.
22:59Goodbye.
23:01I'll never threaten you again. You're a perfect man.
23:03I'm not fit to eat the breadcrumbs in Darwin's beard.
23:05Fine, for punishment,
23:07I want you to go kick invisible balls.
23:09Whatever you want, homo superior.
23:11Homo?
23:13Hey, Shin's with a man.
23:15You mean his friends, right?
23:17Actually, the guy looks scared of Shin.
23:19The man is a pumpkin.
23:21What's going on?
23:23Should we even ask?
23:25I have powers too.
23:27I have an invisible clone army.
23:29Sounds cool. Can we play?
23:31I don't think it's a game to him.
23:33And I will find and destroy the boy's clone army.
23:35He may think subordination's my natural state,
23:37but evolution never stops.
23:39It has a way of changing things!
23:41Great, Scott. Brown, he's literally on fire.
23:43It's too cold.
23:45How does Shin meet these strange men?
23:47The guy's like some kind of Superman.
23:49This is Cosco Bay, Flamer's nothing special.
23:51Nothing special?
23:55That's all!
24:26And then I'll party, party,
24:28party, party, join us, join us,
24:30party, party, join us, join us,
24:32party, party, join us, join us,
24:34shake your day away and you can
24:36party, party, join us, join us,
24:38party, party, join us, join us,
24:40party, party, join us, join us,
24:42shake your blues away!
24:44Yo, we're getting vacation on!
24:46This party's shaking
24:48and it ain't just shaking here.
24:50I see that smile, you're grinning
24:52ear to ear.
24:54Sing this song, you should really sing it clear.
24:56Just sing along with us!
25:01Party, party, join us, join us,
25:03party, party, join us, join us,
25:05party, party, join us, join us,
25:07shake your day away and you can
25:09party, party!
25:11Party!
25:13Party!
25:15Party!