CRAYON SHINCHAN クレヨンしんちゃん EP56
anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00One, two, three, ha!
00:04Yes, ma'am!
00:08Reader's Digest!
00:12It's... it's...
00:14Oh my God, it's...
00:16the new issue of Muffs and Stuff!
00:18Calm down, hero.
00:20Just buy it, get it past Mitzi,
00:22and run to the bathroom as fast as possible!
00:24Sir, would you like to buy
00:26a pre-crested relief sock and or fleshlight?
00:28No thanks, I prefer hand towels.
00:34Oh, pornography.
00:36Truly the best of all things ending in the word
00:38ography.
00:40So what'd you get?
00:42Uh, nothing, honey.
00:44But weren't you just at the bookstore?
00:46Oh. Yeah, I got this
00:48muscle magazine, nothing else.
00:50I'm thinking of getting buff for you, Mitzi.
00:52For you.
00:54Whoa, I see a boobie!
00:56What? Uh, man boob.
00:58Shin, go back inside and stop sabotaging
01:00your dad!
01:02What'd I tell you about buying these magazines,
01:04hero? That I could never buy
01:06anything with those girls from the beach?
01:08Yes, but also that we have no room for it.
01:10Whoa, what's with all the furry underwear?
01:12Hey, no more filthy
01:14stuff. This isn't even real
01:16porn, Mitzi. These are amateurs.
01:18Well, if you want to ogle amateurs, hero, then
01:20why don't you ogle your wife?
01:22Look at all this!
01:24How have I never
01:26seen this? That's what I'm leaving Shin
01:28when I die.
01:30So what you're saying is that while decent parents
01:32leave property or a lot of money, you plan
01:34to leave Shin a closet full of nudie mags?
01:36That sounds pretty cool to me.
01:38Some of it can be very artistic.
01:40They paint with their boobies?
01:42Get rid of it, hero. Please don't.
01:44Uh, see, Mitzi, Shin
01:46doesn't want me to get rid of his birthright.
01:48Except the weird stuff.
01:50This is about more than a married man collecting gross
01:52girly magazines. I support your
01:54lifestyle, Dad. It's about us
01:56living in a moderately sized house that doesn't
01:58have room for your juvenile perversions.
02:00That's why Mom is moving out.
02:02What? Guess I did let things get
02:04a little out of hand. Dad is a disgusting
02:06pervert. Shut up!
02:08You're next! I want you to toss
02:10out some of your old toys. Okay.
02:12And hero, if you let Shin look inside
02:14any of those magazines, you're out of the house.
02:18So long, porno. You were my
02:20first, last, and best love.
02:22So long, toys. You were my first
02:24things.
02:26His mother is an evil, evil woman.
02:28A world without porn is a world
02:30I don't want to live in.
02:32Mom is an evil woman. Dad should
02:34remarry a man so we can look at girly mags
02:36all the time. If I don't hear serious
02:38cleaning in the next five minutes, I'm letting
02:40Yoshirin and Yanro take your junk
02:42for their own creepy lives. Fine.
02:44Bound volumes of boink?
02:46This isn't much fun. But it's
02:48better than Yoshirin getting his hands on them.
02:50I can't imagine what kind of stink
02:52Yanro would get on these. Yeah, he is gross.
02:54But you know, most of this stuff is erotic
02:56fiction.
02:58My old book! Shin, bet you didn't know
03:00your old man published a novel.
03:02Man, if only it had sold a few more
03:04than zero copies. Hold on!
03:06Does it have boobies and crotchies in it?
03:08Well, come on! Read me
03:10some of that hot stuff, daddio!
03:12All right. But it gets kind
03:14of PG-13.
03:16Nero Hohara had just finished
03:18his latest erotic novel.
03:20Nero, my bosom heaves with a
03:22perky desire. Yes, that's cause
03:24I'm awesome. Oh, hi there. I was drawn
03:26to your musk. Uh, Nero, please don't
03:28deprive us of your ample passion.
03:30Kiss me. And they did,
03:32whispering the sounds of lust as Nero's
03:34muscles bulged with carnicity.
03:41Dad, your book sucked. Please burn it.
03:43Shut up. I'm keeping it.
03:45All right, what's this one?
03:47Ah, this one's lame. They're all covered up.
03:49Those ones are never worth it.
03:52Whoa, dad, are you sure?
03:54Looks hot.
03:56That is pretty hot, and
03:58technically not a nudie mag.
04:00I'm keeping this one, too. Don't tell mom.
04:02This one? I think
04:04I got this one on a dare. Yeah.
04:06I'm gonna put it in the
04:08garbage now, but I want you to promise me
04:10you'll never speak of it again, kay?
04:12I promise not to say you look at pictures
04:14of mites and kissing trout.
04:16But if I keep your secret, I get to
04:18have all your boink volumes.
04:20Yeah. That's not happening.
04:22Son, you're too young for these,
04:24but I promise I'll try not to mess up
04:26the pages too much for when you get older.
04:28I like where you're going with that,
04:30but is there any way we can keep them all?
04:32Well, over by the gas plant's a storage
04:34place where they keep finding suffocated
04:36homeless men.
04:38Think that could work?
04:40The thing you have to learn about women is that...
04:42Did you not hear me say this is
04:44a small house?
04:46I heard everything, geniuses. Now get rid of
04:48this junk before I get rid of you guys.
04:50Okay, mom.
04:52It's just that... Just what, Hiro? Disgusting?
04:54Yes, you're very gross, and if you care about this
04:56marriage at all, you would junk the smut immediately!
05:02All right! You heard her!
05:04Our family is at stake!
05:06Right! But I can't play
05:08favorites with these. They're all so awesome.
05:10No man should ever be forced to sort
05:12through his own toy box. Hey, wait,
05:14I have an idea. I can go through your stuff,
05:16and you can go through mine.
05:18Then we can approach each other's things without any
05:20preconceived biases or guilt and be very
05:22discriminating in what we keep.
05:24I don't know what half those words mean, but sure,
05:26let's switch.
05:32Be gentle.
05:34A lot here for me to read.
05:36Hey, don't open anything. Just start trashing.
05:38This hottie's pretty hot.
05:40But is she hot enough?
05:44No! Too short!
05:46Too fat! Too covered in jello!
05:48So many years wasted!
05:50So many midnight trips to the bathroom
05:52all down the drain in more ways than one!
05:54Whoa, this redhead's
05:56a hottie?
05:58Then her friend's pretty cute too.
06:02Oh yeah, the Air France plane.
06:04It's way too realistic to throw out.
06:06And I've gotta keep
06:08Lady Softlips. Her cat blob won't have anyone
06:10to go to Happy Town with.
06:12Are you
06:14thinking what I'm thinking?
06:16I forgot about the guest room closet.
06:18We can stash all our stuff there and not give up
06:20anything. Let's do it.
06:22Steady. Steady.
06:24Come on.
06:30Our stuff will be safe in here because no one ever
06:32visits us. And blame Mom for us
06:34being unpopular.
06:50Mitzi, you hypocrite. Look at all this
06:52space-clogging crap. You know this is
06:54a small house, right?
06:56I can't believe you want me to get rid of my
06:58nudie mags when you have a whole closet full of
07:00clearance SkyMall junk.
07:02He found all his best books cause of you.
07:04Hero, you let our five-year-old son look
07:06at your dirty magazines?
07:08Mitzi, I swear, he only saw some of the covers.
07:10Yeah, there was no way I was opening that
07:12fish one. Ah, Shin, you suck at
07:14keeping secrets.
07:16Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin,
07:18Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, Shin, here's more.
07:22Love is legally
07:24blind.
07:26Hey, that's my ball.
07:28It's so nice
07:30to see the children's back at the school
07:32with the rope jumping and the teasing
07:34of the beefy ones. Once my
07:36testicles really descend, I'll be back to normal
07:38too.
07:40Shin, with our recent problems,
07:42we can't afford a neck break for
07:44at least six more months. I'm upside
07:46down cause it's an American school.
07:48Boo says
07:50they're all upside down there. Boo's
07:52a very intelligent boy.
07:54Ah, the thrill of the bald-faced lie.
07:56But seriously, come down from the
07:58tree. I'm your principal, so you have to
08:00obey. So the cops never linked
08:02you to the Inch Cave, huh?
08:04Oh, I could still be ruined.
08:06Then I'm thinking you can't tell me
08:08what to do. Still blackmailing
08:10me? Don't feel special.
08:12You're not my first time.
08:14He's lived a full life.
08:16Oh, there
08:18you are, Inchy. Can I grab you for a minute?
08:20I remind you there are witnesses
08:22and I will scream. I'm a fighter now.
08:24You know, abusing you and
08:26the other teachers for two years on that cot
08:28made me realize I might have a slight problem
08:30maybe. I mean, that's what my mom
08:32thinks, and she's been right about other things,
08:34like getting my tubes tied with a double knot.
08:36That's bigger than you saw me make.
08:38They both have square-shaped
08:40glasses! I finally
08:42know their secret!
08:46Teach me the true art
08:48of love! Of love? What's that?
08:50What I saw you doing in the bathroom
08:52one time. Can we talk about this away
08:54from the other kids? I always wondered
08:56what anyone could see in either of you, but now
08:58I realize you wound each other with your square-shaped
09:00glasses, which you clearly bought at the same
09:02love store. Wait, are glasses?
09:04I guess they do look
09:06similar. They're
09:08identical! That's why you have
09:10love touches.
09:12Any touching you saw us do in the past
09:14had nothing to do with love, trust me.
09:16To be honest, Jimmy, Miss Polly and I wear
09:18prescription glasses because we each have a very
09:20rare medical condition. These shades
09:22protect my girlishly fragile
09:24corneas. And I wear these because
09:26when I don't, the anger comes. We didn't
09:28get prescriptions so we could do this
09:30alleged touching. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
09:32So has our awkward conversation
09:34cleared things up? I'd say I have a
09:36very impressive grasp on it now.
09:38At last, we finally taught
09:40you something. You have? You got your glasses
09:42for other reasons and the super love
09:44magnetism they caused was just a happy side
09:46effect. We're not in love!
09:48Don't hate it, celebrate it!
09:50If you're not going to listen to what we say, then why don't you
09:52just get your own square-shaped glasses?
09:54See if they make you a done windy,
09:56Marco. Ooh, great idea!
09:58Hello, honey
10:00butt.
10:02Now
10:04that you have square-shaped glasses, I can't keep
10:06my hands off you. Should we kiss?
10:08Yes, all over.
10:10No,
10:12shit, stop! I don't think you mean it!
10:14That's not
10:16how I imagined it to be.
10:18Maso cries a lot,
10:20doesn't he? Yeah.
10:22But not into something that matters.
10:24Becoming legally blind!
10:26Mom always says sitting too close
10:28to the TV will make my eyes suck.
10:30That's a healthy start.
10:32This footage of Casca Bay Gardens
10:34was taken just hours before the unidentified
10:36man set the grounds ablaze with
10:38what's been called an unseeable
10:40nuclear tower over fire.
10:42Killing 83. The police department
10:44was arrested to this heartless murderer of
10:46men, women, children, and children.
10:48It's way too much ugly!
10:52Reading in the dark hurts your eyes too,
10:54which is why I never read in case of a sudden
10:56solar eclipse. But if glasses gets you
10:58tail, bring them on!
11:00Here goes.
11:02I hope this
11:04book has a lot of pictures.
11:08Don't you think we've had enough
11:10closet hijinks for one week, Shin?
11:12I was just thinking a theme could help tie
11:14these random stories together.
11:18Trying to kill your eyeballs
11:20makes you hungry.
11:22Are you hyperactive, mischievous, obsessed with your bowels,
11:24or criminally selfish? Because the cause
11:26might be simpler than you think. You might not be
11:28blinking enough. This commercial isn't
11:30speaking to me at all.
11:32Oh, you have lost again, marketers!
11:36I just want to eat my salty wisecrackers
11:38in peace.
11:40You'll die alone.
11:44So salty!
11:46Not blinking can make you blind
11:48or give you realistic eyes like this.
11:50That wouldn't fit our drawing style.
11:52But I need to go blind, I must not blink!
11:54If you or someone you love
11:56is suffering from under-blinkage,
11:58call about our four-times-per-day pill.
12:00This revolutionary treatment is cheaper than you think
12:02because it isn't government-approved.
12:04I cannot blink!
12:10Sleeping on a newspaper?
12:12Are you training him to be homeless?
12:14Uh-uh. I think he's trying
12:16to hurt his eyes. I'm not sure why
12:18he suddenly thinks blindness is a good thing.
12:20Handicapped parking in a free German shepherd?
12:22It's not that crazy.
12:24One eye-strenuous day later,
12:26our little Shin-Chan was forced
12:28to admit defeat, even after his
12:30most brilliant plan for optical
12:32damage failed.
12:34I can't believe Mom wouldn't
12:36buy me that flesh-eating acid.
12:38Anything with acid in it could be that bad.
12:46That, my friends, is some great
12:48AFAM service.
12:50Let's hear it for the bonus
12:52panty shot! So, you're glad you
12:54saw that? Yeah, of course, Muscle.
12:56Took him in a picture. It was like
12:58ten megs. Um, you do
13:00know if your vision sucked, you wouldn't have
13:02seen that tawdry display. Well, that's
13:04what the glasses would be for, silly face.
13:06But what if a grizzly bear had broken my
13:08glasses just before the panty shot?
13:10For the first
13:12time, my plan has a flaw.
13:20We can't give the kids any reason to
13:22think something happened between us, once or
13:24countless times. Yes, or between me and
13:26Miss Katz, or me and Miss Anderson, or me and
13:28Mr. K, or me and the former janitor.
13:30Please, Miss Katz!
13:32I'm begging you! Teach me the true
13:34secret art of love! Clearly, you
13:36know! Did Miss Anderson put
13:38you up to this sarcastic attack?
13:40No, this is all me! You're the only
13:42teacher without glasses or a boyfriend
13:44who's doyle! Please! You don't want
13:46to be like me. I haven't had a man
13:48since Crocs came out.
13:50Good! I don't like men! Okay. Well, I guess
13:52he's moved on from the glasses idea, then.
13:54I feel foolish.
13:56It's Snodboo! It's me!
14:02It's Snodboo!
14:04It's me!
14:12Shin, did you shove more
14:14pepper up your nose?
14:16That's not where I put it, no.
14:20Ew, you're snotty.
14:22Let me feel your forehead. I'd kiss it, but
14:24well, you're gross.
14:26Hmm. You do feel
14:28a little bit warm. I hope you
14:30don't have that terrible new strain of
14:32cog flu that's been going around.
14:34How it jumped from swines to roosters,
14:36the news wouldn't say.
14:38But I can't be sick.
14:40Georgie's counting on me.
14:46Did you just say Georgie's
14:48counting on you? That can't be right.
14:50Student council campaign. I'm helping
14:52rig it. Campaign?
14:54But you're in kindergarten. I'm in it for
14:56the victory party. Those things get pretty
14:58wild.
15:00You can't go out like that!
15:02You'll snot all over the Prescott's home!
15:04His mom is kind of a type,
15:06but I'm on it.
15:08Off-brand Kleenex
15:10hoe! This way
15:12I can blow on the go.
15:14You know not to blow your nose into the box,
15:16don't you?
15:19Say you're impressed.
15:21Shut up.
15:23Team bastard for me!
15:25What if you're contagious?
15:27I'll hug everyone I can!
15:29Remember team,
15:31a low turnout favors me. So we need to
15:33spread a rumor around the whole playground
15:35that touching any voting booth will give you
15:37Lou Gehrig's disease.
15:39So do you still want me to claim the kindergarten
15:41candidate was alone with me in the bathroom during
15:43recess? And wouldn't that be more
15:45believable if we make it happen for real?
15:47Good instincts.
15:49Man, this meeting would be way funner if Shin
15:51was here to tell jokes. Yeah, I'll say.
15:53Hey! Son of a...
15:55Didn't I tell you we were meeting at the park?
15:57I know, but I assumed you'd tell me the
15:59wrong place since you don't want me to be here.
16:01If you knew I didn't want you here, then
16:03why did you... Nasty! You got
16:05snot in my eye! Whoa, Shin, are you
16:07sick? Yeah, either that
16:09or I've become a super snot mutant who
16:11will soon conquer you all. Would you just
16:13wipe your nose already? Can
16:15do!
16:21See, you're impressed. Not a
16:23chance.
16:25Hey.
16:27Hey, here's an idea. What
16:29would you say to blowing your nose on all my political
16:31rivals? That sounds
16:33wrong. Where does it pay? Bark
16:35alert! How dare
16:37you try to take away my bee!
16:39Gosh, he looks angry. Is he
16:41gonna bite you? I don't know
16:43why you're mad, but please don't bite!
16:45How would you feel if I
16:47danced with my effluent?
16:49Um, cheapened?
16:51Your effluent is my
16:53snot shed. Oh,
16:55it paints an odd picture, but yeah,
16:57I'll be snot free as soon as I
16:59can.
17:01Achoo! Come on,
17:03you had to aim to get me that time!
17:05But while my nose is still running, I
17:07say you help me make the most of it.
17:09Huh? Shift gears.
17:11We are going downhill. Awesome sneeze
17:13fest, then campaign snooze
17:15fest! It'll be worse if I struggle.
17:17Oh, phlegm master, please
17:19teach me the way of the mucus.
17:21Uh,
17:23snot heckelopter!
17:37Is this really happening?
17:39I've asked myself that same thing every day
17:41since I met you.
17:53It's so romantic!
17:55No, it's not!
17:57Look, I put up with
17:59a lot, but you guys' sloppy nose
18:01fluids goes too far!
18:03Okay, I have some head dizzy
18:05anyway.
18:07It hurts my brainy part.
18:09Shin, cock flu is one thing,
18:11but you can't catch what Boo's got.
18:13Whoa, I have happy
18:15tree?
18:17Tree.
18:19Five hours passed,
18:21and nothing important happened.
18:23Shin just did this.
18:25A lot.
18:27You think cock flu's funny, then it
18:29strikes your own home. I never dreamed
18:31I'd get tired of snot.
18:33Your appointment should take care of it.
18:35Now has that made four apes
18:37or from them? Um, neither.
18:39She means you're seeing a doctor.
18:41Uh-huh, uh-huh. Uh, no!
18:43Not Dr. Death. I've still got
18:45fight in me. Actually, it's a clinical
18:47trial for some new flu treatment. They
18:49shoot stuff up your nose. It sounds safe.
18:51Nose shooting? I can see it now.
18:57Shove it as deep as you can!
18:59I want him to hurt extra!
19:01Because I'm evil and I hate my son!
19:03After this, we'll move to the
19:05flamethrower.
19:11A flamethrower won't help!
19:13You know we can't see your fantasies, don't you?
19:15I don't need a snot doctor! I'm not sick, I
19:17swear!
19:21I'm sure it's a good
19:23clinic, Shin. They have a classified ad.
19:25No, I don't need it! I'm cured!
19:29You won't make this easy, will you?
19:31Huh. Hey, I forgot!
19:33Nanako called and I invited her
19:35over for dinner tomorrow evening.
19:37You mean hottie Nanako?
19:39Oh, what'd she say?
19:41Well, since she always enjoys seeing us, she gave me
19:43an enthusiastic maybe.
19:45Can I walk her out after? I'm finally
19:47gonna make my move.
19:49She only said maybe? Well, she wants to.
19:51She does love Shin.
19:53But then I told her about how
19:55his nose is running.
19:57As it turns out, Nanako has an irrational,
19:59all-consuming hatred of anything
20:01snot-related. It's crazy!
20:03Apparently, just the sight of someone with a runny
20:05nose makes her throw up for hours.
20:07And then she avoids that person for the rest
20:09of her life. Can you believe that?
20:11So she'll only be able to come tomorrow
20:13if Shin is mucus-free.
20:17And that's what they call
20:19checkmate.
20:25I'm glad to hear you're concerned about your son's
20:27health and are a lover of scientific research.
20:29Most moms just come in here for the hundred bucks.
20:31Get out of town!
20:37Shut your mouth.
20:39I mean, cause it works better that way.
20:41Okay. This move
20:43will knock her socks off and hopefully
20:45her skirt.
20:47I hate this job!
20:49For once,
20:51do not make a scene!
20:53This helps clear
20:55a tourist's sinuses.
20:57Hey, we should test that.
21:03Look how clear they are!
21:05You can see my brain!
21:07Compared to yesterday, I'm actually glad to see you.
21:09Like I often say, clean body cavities
21:11do wonders for the soul.
21:13The only downside is now I can't be
21:15Mucus Brothers with Boo anymore.
21:17But we'll always have that one magical day.
21:19Bleh.
21:21Everybody hates a tourist bat.
21:23Ouch.
21:25You should try this snot-free lifestyle.
21:27It really lets you smell the roses.
21:29And also butts.
21:31Whoa, you're an easy sell.
21:33Are you sure, Boo? You've always told us
21:35your snot was the source of your power.
21:37I've gotta see this.
21:49Looks weird snot-free.
21:51Alright, that is a whole lot of face.
21:57Um, you gonna be okay there, buddy?
22:01This is it for Boo.
22:03Tell Phillip I love him.
22:17Woke up late this morning
22:19The storm was really rolling
22:21Frogs and dogs were raining from the sky
22:23Everything seems awkward to me
22:25Nothing's just as it should be
22:27If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by
22:29But then I close my eyes
22:31And try to smile
22:33I know things are bad and getting worse
22:35But after all this
22:37I can rest a while
22:39And then I'll party, party
22:41Party, party
22:43Join us, join us
22:45Party, party
22:47Join us, join us
22:49Shake your blues away
22:51And you can party, party
22:53Join us, join us
22:55Party, party
22:57Join us, join us
22:59Party, party
23:01Join us, join us
23:03Party, party
23:05Join us, join us
23:07Shake your blues away
23:09Yo, we're getting vacation, huh?
23:11This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here
23:13I see that smile you're grinning ear to ear
23:15Party, party
23:17Join us, join us
23:19Party, party
23:21Join us, join us
23:23Shake your day away
23:25And you can party, party
23:27Party, party
23:29Party, party